Ladyghosthunter
Gold Member
Where do I begin?
My mother in law is destroying her son and our marriage. Where do I begin? Where do I start?
In the beginning, I thought we had a great relationship although I noticed she was negative at everyone and everything around. She had a hard abusive life and apparently, she criticized everything and everyone-including her son's (my husband has an older brother whose been married three times-they live far away) marriages. She has nothing really nice to say about people she knew as she raised her two kids alone. Her ex husband, my father in law, I love dearly even though he screwed up big time with her. It's apparent she's really bitter at life in general and never got over her divorce with her ex-husband. It shows badly.
Enter my husband and his ex-wife's son, my step son. You think he was Jesus Christ according to the way she treated him. My husband went to live with his mother for 15 years while he got his life together after his divorce. He lost his house and lost a lot of things however, my husband and his mother doted on this child so much, giving him everything and anything just so he had a family (I never had one, I would know what that would be like). My step son (who I will call "Steve") was diagnosed with ADHD (which I think is bullsh*t) and ADD-the doctors put him on the highest dose of medication just so he could function in class for 8 hours.
Here are the other issues with Steve:
1. He was always doing sports and his Dad was always the coach.
2. Steve has emotional issues growing up but his grandmother would blame ADD or ADHD for his issues. Although he was on medication, Steve still lied, did stupid stuff, drank and had unprotected sex all the time.
3. His grandmother would spoil him with everything and never did without.
4. My husband would say that he was so poor and that his excuse was that he didn't want his son to not have a family or anything stable.
5. My husband wouldn't talk to his Dad until 14 years ago. Steve doesn't talk to his other grandparents.
6. Steve talks to his mother although she went on with her life and hasn't really been in his life at all. She gives him things.
7. The only time you can be loved by Steve is if you give him what he wants (signs of a sociopath).
When Steve was booked on rape, my MIL, his grandmother, paid the $2500 in bail money although my husband demanded no. He just pussed out and didn't put his foot down. Here comes Steve walking down the ramp as arrogrant as can be. I just moved to Nebraska and all I wanted to do is leave. I didn't know this drama would continue onto today.
The day my MIL told me to "stick it" she claimed (and I say that loosely) that she was only kidding. I wasn't on my meds and I was hurt. She's done this before and now I'm done. She owed us for buying Steve a $100.00 pair of shoes (he wants the best of everything-he won't buy from any place that isn't expensive). We went to Walmart and my MIL bought him everything for his new apartment. She spent about $200.00 for everything for him including clothes and other things he "needed".
I came to find out, that despite our limited income, the MIL never paid us back. I find it funny that she could pay all of Steve's sh*t at Walmart but couldn't pay us back like she stated she would. So now we're out $100.00 and I've taken my money out and put it in my own account. I don't trust the situation anymore.
With the anniversary of my friends being killed, 9/11 and me getting through school this quarter, I slept all day today and just won't deal with his son being anywhere around me. I'm tired of the dysfunction. I'm sorry if this sounds a bit choppy-I'm having issues with my PTSD even though I'm usually level headed.
I'm saving money to move out of state. I hate it here. I hate what has happened however I am NOT responsible for what other people do.
I'm truly embarrassed about my situation. I'm slowly getting rid of some stuff I don't want to sell it and gather money for my escape. In the meantime, I'm keeping quiet and just biding my time. Do you all have any other advice for me?
Thank you in advance. I appreciate it.
My mother in law is destroying her son and our marriage. Where do I begin? Where do I start?
In the beginning, I thought we had a great relationship although I noticed she was negative at everyone and everything around. She had a hard abusive life and apparently, she criticized everything and everyone-including her son's (my husband has an older brother whose been married three times-they live far away) marriages. She has nothing really nice to say about people she knew as she raised her two kids alone. Her ex husband, my father in law, I love dearly even though he screwed up big time with her. It's apparent she's really bitter at life in general and never got over her divorce with her ex-husband. It shows badly.
Enter my husband and his ex-wife's son, my step son. You think he was Jesus Christ according to the way she treated him. My husband went to live with his mother for 15 years while he got his life together after his divorce. He lost his house and lost a lot of things however, my husband and his mother doted on this child so much, giving him everything and anything just so he had a family (I never had one, I would know what that would be like). My step son (who I will call "Steve") was diagnosed with ADHD (which I think is bullsh*t) and ADD-the doctors put him on the highest dose of medication just so he could function in class for 8 hours.
Here are the other issues with Steve:
1. He was always doing sports and his Dad was always the coach.
2. Steve has emotional issues growing up but his grandmother would blame ADD or ADHD for his issues. Although he was on medication, Steve still lied, did stupid stuff, drank and had unprotected sex all the time.
3. His grandmother would spoil him with everything and never did without.
4. My husband would say that he was so poor and that his excuse was that he didn't want his son to not have a family or anything stable.
5. My husband wouldn't talk to his Dad until 14 years ago. Steve doesn't talk to his other grandparents.
6. Steve talks to his mother although she went on with her life and hasn't really been in his life at all. She gives him things.
7. The only time you can be loved by Steve is if you give him what he wants (signs of a sociopath).
When Steve was booked on rape, my MIL, his grandmother, paid the $2500 in bail money although my husband demanded no. He just pussed out and didn't put his foot down. Here comes Steve walking down the ramp as arrogrant as can be. I just moved to Nebraska and all I wanted to do is leave. I didn't know this drama would continue onto today.
The day my MIL told me to "stick it" she claimed (and I say that loosely) that she was only kidding. I wasn't on my meds and I was hurt. She's done this before and now I'm done. She owed us for buying Steve a $100.00 pair of shoes (he wants the best of everything-he won't buy from any place that isn't expensive). We went to Walmart and my MIL bought him everything for his new apartment. She spent about $200.00 for everything for him including clothes and other things he "needed".
I came to find out, that despite our limited income, the MIL never paid us back. I find it funny that she could pay all of Steve's sh*t at Walmart but couldn't pay us back like she stated she would. So now we're out $100.00 and I've taken my money out and put it in my own account. I don't trust the situation anymore.
With the anniversary of my friends being killed, 9/11 and me getting through school this quarter, I slept all day today and just won't deal with his son being anywhere around me. I'm tired of the dysfunction. I'm sorry if this sounds a bit choppy-I'm having issues with my PTSD even though I'm usually level headed.
I'm saving money to move out of state. I hate it here. I hate what has happened however I am NOT responsible for what other people do.
I'm truly embarrassed about my situation. I'm slowly getting rid of some stuff I don't want to sell it and gather money for my escape. In the meantime, I'm keeping quiet and just biding my time. Do you all have any other advice for me?
Thank you in advance. I appreciate it.
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