A really big thank you to everyone for their support and encouragement and well wishes!
My fiance came to therapy with me a few weeks ago and we had a very successful session with the T. Since then we have been implementing changes in the home and best of all - my man has helped to create a stable environment with far fewer triggers (at least those he had been responsible for - some triggers you just can't avoid!).
He has also read Anthony's 'cup document' - and has found it so helpful. He can now see when my cup is too full and has been really understanding when I explain that I'm not up to something or going somewhere as my cup is filling too quickly. In the past he may have successfully persuaded me against my wishes - with tremendous fallout affect afterwards.
Now he realizes that he can help to maintain my stability by making a few changes and I think this gives him a bit more control over the situation which he enjoys. He does not feel so helpless with me anymore and can be proactive when he thinks I'm doing too much.
Wow! is all I can say - the universe offered me up CPTSD when I met him, and it has taken a long time to come to terms with it. Now I can say that I believe that the timing for that was right. I now have support from a T and from a man who loves me, and that makes so much difference to recovery.
We never know what is around the corner, sometimes the things that come at us seem so difficult and unfair, but I think that Time might show us differently. I never knew I had CPTSD. We had been living together for six months when that monster started raising its head. I have often wondered WHY!!!!? This is my first long-term relationship! I felt so terribly ashamed and bad for bringing pain into this man's life. But I have stopped feeling so awful about it now - there is a reason we met at the time we did and a reason that i get to take time out now for healing - which is a job in itself.
A few night ago, this wonderful man teared up and told me that i had saved his life by coming to him at just the right time - we have been together for almost three years now. Some of that time has been like a war zone as I tried to figure out what was happening to me with CPTSD, reacting to him out of triggers which triggered his own fears more time than not and both of us feeling helpless, depressed and alone. But the in between times have been filled with love and happiness and so many good things and now that I am making progress in therapy and he has a better understanding of how he can support and be supported - it can only get better.
We are so fortunate and the future will bring more healing and the fulfillment of dreams. May you know wonderful times too and may you never give up as you really don't know what encouragement tomorrow is going to bring your way.
:Hug_emoticon: to you all
Shiraz
