My Life Is Very Complex....

[jd9900]

...But I very much want to share something with all of you because it reminds me so much of what I try to share with many of you so often.

I am in love. Again. Not for the first time, but maybe for the best time. I feel like not being alone again. I am reminded I am good at things I set my mind to.


I am happy. And I love this feeling, and I never want it to end.


I feel like I can take the world on - like I know if you gave me a one-on-one I could f*ck you up but I feel so amazing I could go ten on one and walk away with a grin. Just try to stop me. :)

Much of the way I feel has a lot to do with so many of you being so willing to share, so smart, so insightful. I have been sober for weeks now - an amazing thing for me, and just want to keep continuing to be who I am so that I can continue to connect with all of you.

 

[Ghostybear73]

Its great to hear that you are feeling so good. Congratulations on the sobriety, keep up the good work!!

 

[jd9900]

TY!!! It is really hard but I am starting to believe I am worth it.
\

 

[Ghostybear73]

Not only are you worth it, but you deserve it!! :)

 

[jd9900]

TY!! no lie, it is scary as hell. But man if I don't want to just take her arm and hope she would be my Forever Woman. If that doesn't sound crazy you are probably a more insightful person than I am. Doesn't help I am a Scorpio. I bleed passion. :)

 

[Britt.f7]

I thought you were married. I'm confused. I am glad to hear about your sobriety! You are worth it and so is the woman you are in love with. Congratulations on your happiness!

 

[jd9900]

I am married, which should explain without further words why my life is so complex. Things are going to get weird soon. 20 years of being Just Friends is starting to take a lot out of me.

 

[Recovery Girl]

Hi jd, I'm happy for you to be sober! I am in recovery from drugs & alcohol. Just for today is a good way to live! Good luck!

 

[Britt.f7]

I wasn't sure if I should hit like or not, but, knowing that like can mean support I pressed it JD. Definitely very complicated.

 

[nursenurse]

Okay. So let me rain on your parade. If the person you are not learning to love is you.

How you can justify this is beyond me. If you have not been intimate in 20 years, then where is the problem? You owe it to the person you have been with, and to yourself, and to this new love, to do 1 of two things. Either you do whatever it takes to make that relationship work, or you get out before you become emotionally and/or intimately involved with someone else. What you have expressed is unfair to all involved. With freedom comes responsibility, and from what I have read, you haven't done that yet. There is nothing for me to like here. I have been on the other end, and it makes me sick and sad.

 

[jd9900]

Nursenurse your question...questions - are quite valid. I think for many....most...maybe all of my years I have been with her because she is a wonderful mother to my children. Love, but not IN love. And as strong as I am I can't keep letting it break my heart.

 

[jd9900]

None of you are the first to hear these things. I've talked to my wife. My kids. To many therapists. But I am tired of talking. My actions are who I am, and sometimes they may seem unfair to some parties involved but damned if I won't be honest with the ones I love anymore.