Relationship My Marine.

[Jax22]

Hi, my name is Jackie and im new to this site. I have been dating a former marine for the last year. When i first met him over a year ago, his PTSD was in full swing. He would isolate himself. Barely showing up for work. When we first started dating i experienced his nightmares, his hallucination and his drinking, and taking several different medications. It was seriously out of control. Though all of this would make most people run, i held on tighter and did everything i could to let him see that i actually care and im not going to run. He scared the hell out of me, with his random black outs and what not. He got arrested about 6 months into our relationship. I got a phone call from his boss telling me that he just got arrested. I was there for him through the whole process. I went to see him, i sent him money, and paid the phone bills when he called. When he got out our relationship definitely went to the next level. We were in love. Completely. We fought but never for long. He stopped drinking everyday and stopped taking his pain pills and sleeping pills. The nightmares COMPLETELY went away. It was great. He was truely happy...

until this last week. Everything changed. out of no where he said he wanted a break. He is too stressed out. he cant eat. he cant sleep and im making things worse. I told him that i dont want to do that. I truely believe that his PTSD is kicking back in( if it ever "goes away). He started drinking a little more...("to be able to sleep" he says).

I dont know what to do. He is against the therapy thing. and i dont want to lose him to this disorder. my hands are tied. to i let him have this break and just wait for him. or is there something i do.

i love this man with my whole heart. im willing to do anything for his happiness...

but i dont know to do...

ANY ADVICE?

thank you.
Jax

 

[Prettysmile]

He is probably stressed which triggers his ptsd. It will only get better if he goes to therapy.

 

[Prettysmile]

Hi jax. I dont know if you ever read this. But this letter was posted in a thread by a sufferer. Reading it definitly helped me understand my marine alot more and hopefully it will help you. Here is the link. [DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/a-sufferers-letter-to-share.20531/#post-285661[/DLMURL]

 

[living4jesus]

Hi Jaxx,

My opinion from my own experience is that he needs to go to therapy to actually learn to manage his PTSD. PTSD never fully goes away but there are ways to manage it. If you don't set boundaries on what you will accept you will end up on a roller coaster of a relationship. I am currently trying to do this myself. It is not easy!

I would listen to what he is saying, although hard as it may be, really listen to what he says. I have had to back off many times with my fiancee and just let him be. It sounds like your Marine is very stressed and that solitude is important for him at this time.

In the meatime it is very important to work on yourself and keeping yourself happy and healthy . I know it's easier said then done. But we tend to put ourselves on the back burner when we are supporters and if we are not emotionally healthly/stable we cannot help anyone else. Praying for you! ((((hugs))))

 

[Jax22]

thank you both for your response. Things havent got better but we have had a talk where is has told me its a rough time.. DUH VETERANS DAY! I didnt even think about it. He isnt doing too good. I wish i could understand whats going on in his head. I wish that he would get help. I love him so much. and i will stand by him through this. Even if it last the rest of our life.

THAT LETTER-- wow. i dont know what else to say. Im sending that to his mom and sister right now. That is so amazing and definitely made me cry. THANK YOU so much for showing it to me.

 

[Prettysmile]

THAT LETTER-- wow. i dont know what else to say. Im sending that to his mom and sister right now. That is so amazing and definitely made me cry. THANK YOU so much for showing it to me.

Your welcome. It definitly helped me as well.

 

[living4jesus]

But this letter was posted in a thread by a sufferer. Reading it definitly helped me understand my marine alot more and hopefully it will help you. Here is the link. [DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/a-sufferers-letter-to-share.20531/#post-285661[/DLMURL]

I love this letter, I read it several times a week just to encourage me and remind me and reinform me when I feel hopeless or drained. In fact I just read it again now. :D