General My Marriage - A Direction of Impact Nearing

[Deleted member 3]

Hey Jen,

I'm okay as can be......given the circumstances. It is hard on everyone...even the little one as he picks up on my distress easily as he is breastfed. Alexander is also quite unsettled poor little mite. I note in this thread that I have been judged harshly and found wanting. Lets just say that I have my reasons. The whole business saddens me beyond anything that words can describe. Unfortunately Anthony has decided that he will remain in Melbourne which kind of adds to the grief for all of us. Its sad that you can ride through some of the real rough stuff, come through the PTSD course and still at the end of the day it all falls apart. This is the last thing that I would have wished for all of us.

Hope things are better for you.

 

[Jen]

Hi Kerri Anne sorry that things are tough going at the moment hopefully something can be settled for you guys and especially the kids.
Hubby did the PTSD clinic he went ok with it,he is still in bed until lunchtime when I am at work but he does Tuesdays for me and seems to be coping with that.
He seems remorseful for all the shit that he threw at me last year he definitely is a bit better to live with.
Hang in there!
Jen

 

[dazednconfused]

I really feel for you both. My husband and I are still separated, but not divorced yet. I have told him I would do anything to help us to be able to work things out, but he just keeps saying he needs his "freedom". I know I have problems and have tried my best to face them and have been going to counselling and taking my son who was recently diagnosed with Asperger's to counselling. My husband goes too and has told me the therapist told him that the problems he had/have could be worked out if he just wanted to, but he has just decided he does not want to work on them, it is easier just to walk away and leave my son and I instead of facing the problems. I love him so much and today was especially hard, because he blowed all his money this weekend I guess except for two dollars he says and wanted me to let him keep part of the money he is supposed to pay to help me take care of our child. I had to tell him that I desperately needed the money, as we have had added expenses with going to all these therapists and everything it seems is coming due and they are talking foreclosure with me. I am probably going to lose all I own before the divorce is final, but he only seems to care for himself and what is happening to him right now. If he only knew the hurt I feel inside and that I want to help him, but he has to help himself. The therapist told me not to give in and do things for him, that he has to learn to do things on his own and I am trying, but the part of me that aches for him, just wants to give in and "fix" things for him, but I feel that these things I cannot fix for him and I guess it is kind of the same for your wife. She has to fix what is going wrong inside of her, but can't blame everything on you. I have told my husband that I don't blame him for everything. Up until he left, I thought we had the "perfect" marriage and he never even once told me he was thinking of bolting like he did. Now he says he just has to take care of himself and I if he wants to self-destruct, I guess I have to let him. At least in my case though my son is with me. I feel so bad that you are not getting to see your children. I hope things get better for all of you. Children need both their parents to help them through this cruel world.

I will pray for you all.

Dazed