My Story.... Domestic Violence At It's Worst

[becvan]

Hi CL, nice to meet you.

Everything Anthony said plus this:

First off, I have been there myself and deal with the same anxiety, flashbacks etc... from this cause. My youngest son has PTSD from the abuse while I lived with that SOB. So from one survivor to another:

You COULD NOT HAVE seen this coming. Okay read that a few times. Many people assume that we can, magically, *TELL* if someone is going to be abusive. That's a crock of sh*t coming from uneducated, unenlightened, inexperienced people. Abuser's are renowned for the manipulitive behaviours that help them gain trust to put themselves in a position of power in order to abuse. They do it ON PURPOSE. It's sneaky and dirty, but eh, they are scum now aren't they. You are in no way, at fault. Everytime you start to feel guilty, get told it's your fault, assume that is what someone is saying, read this thread.

Secondly, you had said that you feel that you had been given a life sentence. I relate to that.. I used to think and say the exact same thing. And we are both right but, it's a sentence of strength, skills, understanding and empathy once you heal all the crap you went through. (no magical number on this though, lol don't we wish) What we survived (and many, many others on here) makes us stronger,better people. We just have to work hard at it!!

*k, done with my positive thinking!*

Bec

 

[Josh77]

Thank you for sharing your story with us, canucklady. It helps give me the courage to, one day, tell my story. I know that had to be hard to share, and it shows progress that you were able to talk about it with us.
Thank you,
Josh

 

[canucklady]

going crazy?

seemed to have blocked out the whole week. t said was dissociation. i dont even remember talking to her this week and she called everyday to check in with me. am i losing my mind? i am really scared. my roomate said i have been quiet this week and havent gone out much. i lost a whole week. that has never happened before at least i dont think it has.

 

[anthony]

Welcome to PTSD CL... once you open pandoras box, you cannot close it, instead you have one way to the other side... through PTSD and your trauma.

 

[becvan]

CL: Yeah this is a normal aspect of PTSD. I have a little trick for you though, that will save you much grief now, rather than later. Get a calender and hang it up somewhere in your house that you will see it everyday. Each day mark it off with a big line or X or something through it. Every single day. If you work or go to school and require an agenda mark that off everyday too. That way all it takes is a glance and you know the day, month and year. That way you know where you are!!! I've been doing this for years and it has saved me soooo much grief. If I don't mark it off, then I know how long I lost to "spacing out." Very handy for tracking if your improving or getting worse too!

Bec

 

[sibemom]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I agree with everyone and what they posted. I understand about the domestic abuse even though that is not what caused my PTSD. In my therapy sessions we are digging into the past stuff and working towards the present issues. You are a survivor and do not forget that. Your Ex BF was nothing more than a lowly peice of crap who needed to controll you at the very highest degree, he wanted to strip away everything that made you feel confident and secure. THAT IS WHAT THEY DO. Even though now you have PTSD, you proved that you can be strong by getting out. It is a long hard struggle, and no I do not like having to go through all the past issues about my life in therapy either but it needs to happen so we can get closer to the reason I have PTSD. You just hang tough and this board is a wonderful place to vent, share and gain knowledge. I know I am very happy I found it for myself, it can trigger things but then again it can be of great comfort. Keep writting things down as you feel them I know that helps me, and no my therapist does not always make me read things that I have written unless it is coming to the part of reading it, dealing with it, and getting rid of it.