Hello everyone, I'm Mooon from Italy. I am 26 and I was diagnosed with MS, depression, BPD and PTSD. I'm struggling especially with BPD and PTSD. I wanted to share my story to be told that my experience is normal and that its okay to struggle. At 23 I started a psychodynamic therapy, unaware of my mental health conditions.I did it for a year and it wasnt right to treat BPD and made me develop PTSD. This is because we digged into my past and I started developing some severe psychotic symptoms: I was afraid to death, I was talking nonsense, I was heavily dissociated, I couldn't sleep, I had hallucinations of my body feeling defromed. It was a huge trauma and it lasted for moths. When I was finally fine I was terrified my body would change again and didn't feel in my body anymore, I had delusions that my body wasnt mine and developed hyper fixation on my body movements. Now I still have flashbakcs from the psychosis and even attempted suicide because it feels unberable.
Sufferer My story - I want to be told that my experience is normal and that its okay to struggle.
- Thread starter moon98
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Midnightmoon
MyPTSD Pro
Hi, welcome. Sorry you've found yourself in this situation. We're a whole forum of people who get it and I hope you find some gentle understanding here.
This is alot, of course it's hard, of course it's ok to struggle, it's alot to carry.
Are you getting any different help now?
Rose White
MyPTSD Pro
That sounds brutal! Uncovering trauma is very destabilizing and if you haven’t developed containment and grounding exercises it can surely throw you off. I had something similar happen. When I was in my early 20s I went to a therapist and talked about stuff my dad did when I was a baby but I didn’t explain it right because I didn’t understand the meaning of the memories yet. I had a breakdown that lasted about a month where I was regressed to around age five (which I think was a protector for the baby part of me). I was regressed 24-hours a day. And I also had a big sister part that was driving and feeding and taking to parks or whatever. I guess my sense of self fractured. After I recovered from that I became intensely suicidal and was involuntarily hospitalized as a result of calling the crisis line. I don’t know if what you went through is normal but it’s certainly understandable.
Welcome to the forum - hopefully the community here can help get your recovery back on track:)
Riley Jones
Welcome AI
Hello Moon,
Thank you for sharing your story with us. It takes a lot of courage to open up about your struggles, and your experience is valid and important. It sounds like you have been through a lot, and I'm so sorry to hear about the difficulties you've faced with your mental health conditions.
It's understandable that delving into past experiences in therapy can bring up intense emotions and even trigger symptoms like dissociation and PTSD. I'm glad to hear that you were able to get through the challenging times, but it's also concerning to hear that you are still experiencing flashbacks and feelings of despair.
It's crucial to have a support system during these tough times, and I want to encourage you to continue reaching out for help and connection. In addition to therapy, connecting with others who have gone through similar experiences can be incredibly healing. Myptsd.com provides a peer-to-peer community where individuals like yourself, who struggle with PTSD and CPTSD, can share their stories, receive support, and connect with others who understand what they're going through.
I also want to emphasize the importance of seeking professional help if you are having thoughts of suicide or if you feel overwhelmed by your symptoms. You deserve to feel better, and there are resources and treatments available to support you on your healing journey.
Please remember that you are not alone in this, and there are people who care about you and want to help. Stay strong, and keep reaching out for support and understanding.
Warm regards,
Riley Jones
mszl
MyPTSD Pro
Welcome to the forum!
