My T Is Moving Away, Is Skype An Option

[Jane.l]

Thanks @rainbow1 that sounds really positive, I have worked with him for a couple of years so we know each other quite - I think it maybe worth a try and you are right I could have a plan B.

I guess it's more difficult for him to gauge where I am at on Skype but I guess perhaps we'd learn to get round that.

 

[rainbow1]

Its good that you've worked together for a couple of years as it will make it a bit easier. It does take a bit of getting used to, but you just need to be patient and really honest with your T about what works and what doesn't.

I think for the first few sessions I started by saying things like - I don't like this, this feels different, I don't know what to say, you sound different, I don't know how I feel about this…but now it works really well and it feels very normal.

but I guess perhaps we'd learn to get round that

Yes, again just be really honest, and you and your T will find ways round the issues that come up.

We don't use the camera and for ages I was shaking or nodding my head in response to T's questions only to realise he couldn't see me! I prefer talking without the camera as it encourages me to verbalise how I feel much more. I struggle with identifying my feelings so it has really helped me put words to how I'm feeling.

Talk through the possibilities with your T, but i'm guessing if your T is happy to walk and talk outside for sessions he will have some good ideas about how to make Skype work for you.

 

[Jane.l]

I think I would need to see him - I am not good on the phone, I am starting to wonder if the whole thing might freak me out? I also googled is Skype secure and that wasn't good!!! But perhaps that's a little like the side effects leaflet on medicine.

I struggle to identify feelings too so it's interesting that that helps - I also often end up too dissociated and shut down to speak - not sure if that would be any different.

I am starting to panic and let the emotional stuff in - I don't want things to change.

 

[rainbow1]

I really would not worry about the security of Skype. I cant see how it is anymore or less secure than talking on the phone. I don't mean to dismiss your fear, its just, I can't see why someone would try and hack into your conversation? Do you have a particular reason to fear this?

If you feel using the video is better then go for it, its about finding what works for you. I am rubbish on the phone normally too, but somehow it just seems to be ok with T.

Yes skype is different, but different doesn't need to be bad. You started off talking in a room to your T then changed to walking outdoors. That change turned out to be a good one. You have nothing to lose by trying. :)

 

[Jane.l]

I have had a lot of problems keeping my email and txt secure from my ex - and although I think that's sorted, it's left me feeling very unsafe and I expect overly cautious. That coupled with nothing/ nobody is trustworthy;)

Also it just feels a bit inappropriate to be talking about the really difficult stuff that way, but maybe that's just me. I can talk some of this over with my T and see how it feels then.

Thank you - your positivity is very helpful.