Sufferer My Trigger Is Nudity - How Will I Survive In Today's World?!

[Breezy816]

everything you have said about how you feel when their is nudity and what happens to you is exactly what happens to m...

Hi Ms.liz,

Thanks for your reply! It feels so good to know there are people in this world that go through the same thing. Not good that anyone else has to experience it, but that I finally have an answer to what I've been completely confused by since I can remember. You said it perfectly, "The fear and Anxiety comes from that I'm with someone ( my husband) that is just as bad as the men that have done bad things to me. That he lacks self-control that he's sexuality is just as dangerous".

I have found this to be the most logical explanation of why the trigger feels the way it does, and why it sparks anger in my partner. But, it is a hard thing to explain. I am single now and get anxious of having to explain it to new people I date. Yet, I can't imagine not mentioning it, as of course I want to avoid the situation as much as possible. Did your husband know from the get-go? How has your experience with this trigger been in your romantic relationships?

Feel free to private message me of course! :)

 

[Ivan the Elder]

Wow! This thread is really mixing up some concepts that do not belong together. Nudity is a normal human condition and has nothing to do with pornography. Either can exist without the other and often do. I am curious, to the OP, does it bother you to look at nude artwork by the great masters of art? The human body is very frequently a subject of art and has been depicted nude by virtually all of the best artists. It is perfectly socially acceptable to freely show such pictures in most places including art museums, newspapers, a coffee house or your living room wall.

I was sexually abused as a child but that in no way is connected to how I feel about nudity in images or real people on the beach. I suspect that the real issue isn't just nudity itself but is directly connected to what happened while nude. That makes a lot more sense and is the usual cause of PTSD that is connected in some way with any form of sexual abuse. The nudity may be a trigger to some degree but there must be more than that going on. I am also strongly triggered by anything that resemble violence in any way at all, even just the sound of people on the street speaking with bad language. There are very good reasons for that in my past as well as very recent events that full activated my long term PTSD. However, I have also discovered that a person using bad language when telling a very funny joke does not affect me the same. So the circumstance does matter in my case.

Just making a wild guess here but I wonder if the sexual abuse might have also involved video?

 

[karamellow]

I hate it too. Intimacy in general is hard for me. Seeing myself naked and even being touched by or touching even kissing my husband are difficult for me sometimes. I hate it in magazines, movies, Facebook. But its everywhere. I heavily sensor what mediums I use. We don't do cable or satellite, I limit Facebook and don't read magazines. It sucks, especially seeing stories about people hurting children. That one sends me right over the edge and makes me want to instant vomit. You aren't alone. Good to know I am not alone either. I listen to a lot of Jody Whitely sleep hypnosis to help me at night, she is awesome.

 

[Ivan the Elder]

People hurting children is the only thing that triggers me into full anger and fight response. Everything else generates my flight response and If I cannot flee then I begin to cry nearly immediately. I was abused by my father and both of my grandmothers, both violence and sex, although not both by all three. The abuse by my father was severe including broken bones at age two and near death later.

Still, a trigger by nudity alone is highly unlikely since it is very common in many families and even many cultures outside North America. Obviously it may happen but there must be something very closely related to it that is acting at the same time. Whatever it is, it may not be at all obvious and is likely something highly suppressed. I did that for many years regarding my sexual abuse and it is only since my PTSD was pumped to the max earlier this year that I began remembering various and numerous events by one of my grandmothers as being clear and obvious sexual abuse. I have quite successfully suppressed it for about 60 years now. Not any more. Now I am finding it hard to deal with.

I want to find another woman to live with but I will not be looking for some time. Before I go in that direction I must find ways to settle the various female related areas of how my PTSD is now affecting me. I cannot spend more than a minute in the same room as my ex wife without full anxiety kicking in. Then I cry so hard I cannot talk and even have trouble breathing. I am so far mostly ok around other women but I have not spent much time in their company. There was one instance recently during group therapy when one woman was using a lot of bad language to describe something and I had to leave the room for a while. Much worse is to hear somebody arguing. During the entire 45 years my ex and I were together I refused to argue and not once did I ever touch her in anger. My therapist is also female and I am ok with her but she has intentionally set off my PTSD a number of times. That is hard to take but it does seem to eventually help, especially after a good nights sleep.

I stopped watching television maybe 10 to 15 years ago because of the amount of violence on TV, especially the News.

One thing that helps a lot is very calm and easy music. I find Chinese PureLand Chants to be exceptionally good.

 

[Living in Fear]

Jesus, I hope you didn't do this. You need a new counselor!!!

I have the exact same issue and over the same show even. There are lots of other similar shows that cause me horrible panic attacks but that was one of the worst.

My ex and I are no longer together b/c of stuff like this. He never got it, and never even tried! My anxiety and panic has gotten 10 fold after our the years together. A lot of it, he just started doing behind my back to 'protect me.' Now I can add extreme paranoia to the list.

Anyone who really loves you would never do this. Maybe someday, after you've healed, but I feel like they would never do it actively if they really cared, and wanted you to be any sorts of better.

Unless you wanna try and heal via torture. Than you would be much stronger than I. :'(

Also, I am currently in counseling. My counselor diagnosed me with PTSD, but has never known someone w...

 

[Living in Fear]

Why would you come here, where people are looking for support and judge and ridicule something that YOU think doesn't make any sense?

I'm sure tons of people would think you're fear is illogical, as well, but it's not. It's very real and painful.

Yes, to some, looking at 'art' is painful also. 'Great works of art' is a relative term. Nudity is nudity is nudity. It's the same, sights, sounds...

I'm sorry for your fear. I understand yours and theirs, and it is incredibley painful. It makes me feel like I can't function properly, but I've decided is others who do not function 'normally' by what they think is truly important.

Wow! This thread is really mixing up some concepts that do not belong together. Nudity is a norma...

 

[Breezy816]

Jesus, I hope you didn't do this. You need a new counselor!!!

I have the exact same issue and over the same...

Hey there! I'm soo sorry to hear you suffer with this as well. My previous boyfriend and I were together for three years, and this was pretty much top of the list for reasons we broke up. It is a tough, tough trigger to deal with in a relationship. The reason being, it comes off as jealous and controlling. Really you are just protecting yourself from the awful flood that comes over you, but the only way to feel safe is if another person does it too :/

I now have a loving relationship, but definitely cannot say that this is not a struggle for him. He understands, or somewhat tries to, but it's hard for him to also go out of his way to avoid these things for me when it just doesn't effect him like this. Sure, someone can love you and try to help, but it's asking a lot for a man to not look up, click on, look at breasts (on tv or movie) at any time. Hence, shitty trigger :)

I have become really good friends with another woman that found me through this thread and being able to talk about, over the phone even, I think we've really been able to nail down some underlying reasons for this particular trigger, as well as coping mechanisms. I'm here to talk!

 

[Living in Fear]

Thanks, Beezy.

You know the best advice a therapist ever gave me was that I don't need to 'fixed.' She said why would you want to learn to watch things like that when it only causes passion and suffering? She said she didn't watch things with sex and nudity... That it didn't fulfill her.

I have sense given up TV, magazines, must of the Internet, most movies, my YouTube is on restricted modest all I usually watch are cartoons and documentaries. I have found meditation and that helps a lot to keep me centered and realize there are so many other things in life than trying to adjust to what everyone thinks it's cool and normal.


Yes, it is a lot to ask of a 'man.' and that makes me very sad. It shouldn't be so much to ask to care about other things in the world. Society has lost most of its mind, especially when it comes to these issues.

I had one of the worst panic attacks of my life because my ex (we try and stay friends) thought it would be a good idea to send me a radio show that started out with couples talking about their sex dreams. This is just even more how it doesn't get it, and just makes it worse.

It does unfortunately come across controlling and bitchy, but it really is protecting, and I never would, but how many men would even sit down with you, and watch a bunch of penises? I hate this world.

Being alone forever is the saddest thing I can think of, but I will live in seclusion for the rest of my days if it means protecting myself from this pain.

Thanks for being there. Thanks for listening

Hey there! I'm soo sorry to hear you suffer with this as well. My previous boyfriend and I were togeth...

 

[Ivan the Elder]

Yes, it is a lot to ask of a 'man.' and that makes me very sad. It shouldn't be so much to ask to care about other things in the world. Society has lost most of its mind, especially when it comes to these issues.

Gender has little to nothing to do with this. Man, woman, makes no real difference. If you think it does then you may have an issue that needs help and that is not uncommon. The entire concept of triggering on nudity is something that must contain deeper reasons for that trigger. We are all born naked and exposed to nudity at the least in family for the early and most important part of our lives. It is then that you learn what is and isn't acceptable and that can and usually will be very much influenced by the treatment you experience when a young child. Child abuse is by far the most important and harmful thing that will affect how a grown person relates to anything that they perceive as "sexual", whether it really should be seen that way or not. Ordinary nudity just isn't enough to explain such a trigger. There is more to it. Otherwise the entire concept of triggering on nudity of any sort would be far more common than it is.

A lot of our learned concepts of what is represented by nudity are a direct result of the religious teaching of various denominations, especially in the last several centuries. I work with this to a certain degree within the church and we have discussed it. I am currently a lay reader of the Bible for the congregation at my church. We have been studying theology in recent weekday meetings. I think I will bring this up with the reverend(s) and see what he / she think about this.

 

[Ella0916589]

Hi Digger,

I certainly don't believe he intentionally triggered me. This just seems to be one of the...

Breezy816,
You are not the only one who feels this way. You are not alone.

 

[Breezy816]

Breezy816,
You are not the only one who feels this way. You are not alone.

Hi Ella,

I take it you or someone you know has this trigger? Have you had any luck with coping or any relief from this? I know a lot of the others have rearranged their lives to avoid any exposure and it's a very isolated life. Any advice you have received or personal achievements would be great insight!

 

[AllAtOnce]

Hey there! I'm soo sorry to hear you suffer with this as well. My previous boyfriend and I were togeth...

Breezy816 If you're still around, I would like to talk. I need someone who understands.