My Valium Experiment

[Gamereign555]

I'm glad it is working so well for him. I had to see another doctor insisted instead of my usual one. This one insisted to me that I should be put on Xanax, she just doesn't understand that it's not panic but the daily chest anxiety that I want some comfort from. These meds are totally different from each other and every time I take the Xanax I end up having to sleep it off eventually. Guess I'll be making another appointment soon.

 

[The Albatross]

Personally, I misused Xanax rather quickly. Just can't do it.

 

[anthony]

My concern for that is especially for Nicolette. Her own ptsd will likely be severly triggered by any withdrawal symptoms you exibit. I have no idea what valium withdrawal is like, but having been on the receiving end of my husband's withdrawal from SSRIs and SNRIs more than a few times....I would fear for her mental well being.

Addiction to diazapam is not a given though, and its only IF my body builds a tolerance to the low dose I take. The small dose I take could actually be ridding itself from me nightly when sleeping. Obviously waking, I have not been exposed to stressors, hence no reaction, take next tablet.

So far, still no chest pains or side effects on such a minimal, twice daily dose... which is just taking the edge off 7 years of hard self work to improve. I guess the dose would also be dependent on the level of healing achieved.

 

[Gamereign555]

I'm doing okay on the Xanax. It is just that I only choose to use it every few days, it's not exactly the relief I was hoping for but I'm rolling with it.

 

[anthony]

Xanax is a short bursting anxiety drug, not a stabilizing one. That is why diazepam (Valium brand name) is a more suitable choice for PTSD, being your body is under a constant state of anxiety. I know there is also a difference from me to civilians, as I have an additional anxiety aspect due to military training, ie. I was trained to be hypervigilant, alert, acute startle response, etc, as all military are... which are normal PTSD symptoms, thus become extremely inflated in anyone with military training. Soldiers are less likely to endure panic attacks, and instead more a constant state of anxiety due to military programming... which there is no deprogramming available, apart from time... and even that has its limits for reduction.

Anxiety drugs are vastly different, and you really must factor that into what you want to achieve. I would not use Xanax or other panic attack style medications, as they would have little overall benefit for me I believe, as I opted to treat the constant anxiety, which just removes it completely, thus no panic or hypervigilant moments.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

SSRI is creating an actual imbalance within the bodies natural chemicals, thus creating a depression that is chemically based, where PTSD is creating a depression that is mood based.

I am not starting a debate...this just caught my eye. And got me thinking. If PTSD causes mood based depression, and Bipolar is more chemically based...why give SSRI's to people with Bipolar disorder? I have been doing research on Bipolar and found that SSRI is commonly given to help with the depression episodes (because it wont cause mania)... but Why? I guess because if given with a mood stabilizer it is "less likely" to cause mania. That seems risky if you don't know much about the patient.

I am getting more and more frustrated with my psychiatrist. My T even told me its okay to fire him as my psychiatrist and find another one. My T thinks a have some form on Bipolar disorder with PTSD. While my psychiatrist thinks I have major depressive disorder with PTSD. But then why keep me on Mood stabilizers? I noticed he doesn't do much listening when I talk to him...I start feeling like I am just making things up, because I feel like I am being pasted off as young and I don't know what I am saying. While my T says its pretty normal for other disorders to come up later in therapy, or become more aware that there is more going on with the patient because they open up more. He also says I am at the right age and had the catalyst to develop BP. Then I feel like my head is spinning, because I agree with my T and I am not sure how to tell my psychiatrist that I don't agree with him.

I think I need another psychiatrist opinion.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Sorry...I just realized how long my post was...sorry. I got going and wasn't able to stop.

And forgot to mention that I was taking Saphris while in the hospital and when I first got out. It really really helped me with my moods. I just didn't like that I had such a hard time waking up in the morning. For some reason my psychiatrist took me off of it. I don't understand this either.

 

[anthony]

Bipolar is actually a mood disorder, and thus like many physicians outdated view on depression, no doubt still align depression to chemically based and not mood based, which are vastly different types. Its not uncommon that most psychiatrists have lost touch with patients.

Target the mood, you remove the depression. Target the depression that actually doesn't exist by itself, you create a deeper depression.

Doctors get kickbacks... simple as that. The more they prescribe, the more they make. SSRI's are no longer the first line treatment, and they have only ever been for the treatment of chemical depression. The problem with depression, is that you must trial and error different methods to determine what type of depression exists, however; doctors are too lazy to do this, so they just jump targeting the mood to see if the depression subsides, and instead treat the depression as the primary concern and treat that first.

 

[intothelight]

I just thought I would add a few things here about Valium and the beneficial effects for PTSD.

When I was initially diagnosed it was for MDD and I was prescribed Zoloft. The more depressed I felt, my GP increased the Zoloft. When the self-harming behaviors started, I went to a psychiatrist and was prescribed Lexapro. Oh that was wonderful and within 5 months I was in a lock down ward because I executed a suicide plan.

Next came Trazadone to help sleep and to battle the depression. Honestly it helped, but the anxiety still was rampant.

So last week I fall down the stairs and break my back. On top of that they are trying to identify the type of cancer present in my spine. But one of the drugs they gave me to control the muscle spasms in my back is Valium. Sure the dosage it high because of the spams, but guess what....my anxiety is gone. I don't mean that I am not scared, or worried about my health. But the "animal trapped in the cage, ready to chew its own leg off" feeling is gone.

I actually could type in the "How Are You Feeling Today...." thread that I was feeling good. I am not stoned or mentally impaired by the Valium. Yes, my back does hurt, but the levels are tolerable. I hate the pain killers because they do make me feel fuzzy and nauseous; but the Valium is making me feel human again.

I hate the word "normal" because it is so subjective. Yes, I am worried, but I am sleeping, reading up on the types of cancer, researching treatments, planning diet, planning exercise that I can do; and all and all, just feeling empowered. I am not feeling depressed or defeated.

Here is the other benefit, I have not disassociated in 9 days. That is a record for me. I can remember everything (excluding the biopsy and some of the meds they gave me for that). The reason I haven't mentally checked out is because I am not scared to death.

Being PTSD is an anxiety disorder, it makes total sense that an anti-anxiety drug would be effective. What is even more validating, the people that live with me see it, so I know it is not just "in my head". The calm is helping me to feel more self-assured, and able to ask questions and take some direction for my own medical treatment. Other benefit...IBS is bye, bye!!!

So all this being said, once my back is better....if I ask my psychiatrist for a prescription, will they label me as drug seeking? I think there is really something to this and would love to see others give their opinions. I am not worried about addiction, because flat out I can't stand feeling out of control. That is just me, so getting high or drunk was never a way I coped.

Now I am going to sound crazy, but I would live with this back pain the rest of my life if it meant I could keep this prescription. The physical pain is nothing compared to the psychological hell I have suffered. I hate to say it, but breaking my back is the best thing that has happened to me.

 

[Nicolette]

The physical pain is nothing compared to the psychological hell I have suffered.

I hear you Deb as I have a back injury myself and in years my quality of life is likely to deteriorate and any stress heightens the pain.

Interesting you mention psychological hell as the worst part is my mind doesn't stop at times and that often resulted in a loss of sleep. On my own best judgement I shifted by 2pm dose of valium to when going to bed and the difference a night of peaceful sleep without my mind working overtime during the night with anxiety.

 

[Gamereign555]

It's normally prescribed short term I think. If your doctor trusts you enough with it maybe it could go for a longer period taking the Valium perhaps. Maybe show them how long you can make a bottle last.

 

[Nicolette]

I have been on valium for 2 years now and can get away with not taking it some afternoons but have to take it in the morning as I start dry retching based on all the stress of what I have to do.

My medical team are not in the slightest bit concerned as to addictiveness and I only get one prescription per month/6 weeks so I am never in a position where I could take more than what I needed as I wouldn't be able to make it to my next appointment without running out. That is how they monitor it here with the exception of Anthony who is not under the same medical care as me, but then again the doctor has to ring up and get approval for repeats and it is all electronically monitored.

Some months I have quite a few left overs so I don't get a prescription for the next visit, others I need a script once a month. I'm only taking a low dosage and half of that in the afternoons (now evenings).