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General Need a Shoulder - Husband Suffers PTSD

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Ok Jen, here it is.

This isn't going to get any easier for you anytime fast, as reliance on medication alone will do squat. Been there, done it, learnt my lesson. I'm not saying medication isn't useful, cause it really is. Your husband will not get better on only medication, whether the dosage is right or not. You husband needs to start learning about what the hell is going on inside him, and how to deal with those feelings. Generally, they come out of us as anger, rage and suicide; but in fact when you learn about what is happening, and why you take this medication, and this one, and that one, etc etc, you can actually fix most of it to a degree.

Your husband is never going to get better, nor make your life any easier only relying on medication. He needs to get into a support group, on here, out to VVCS and get all the information he can get his hands on, get into the PTSD Clinic in Heatley, and get as much as he can to read and possibly help himself.

You cannot help him. Only he can help himself. This is fact, not fiction. He needs to learn how to identify his triggers, what to do when they are triggered, how to keep anxiety and depression under control, control his anger through learning the real reasons and emotions that are being triggered within him, etc etc.

I thought it was all shit when I was really sick, just like your husband is, I have walked the same path, as most here and with PTSD have done / are still doing. It was only that my wife forced me to get help, pushed and pushed me to do the PTSD course and learn, that I am now at a much healthier stage in life again.

You will go crazy Jen trying to do things they way they are being done. Your husband needs a good wakeup call, told to pull his finger out, and if he wants your marriage to survive, then he needs to get serious help now, and that isn't in the form of doctors. The doctors just give medication and make sure your not going to hurt yourself. The counsellors at VVCS, support groups and forums contain the wealth of information.

You can print heaps of relevant content direct from the Australian Centre for PostTraumatic Mental Health. This is the 100% accurate stuff... print pieces out and read them too him, then make him read them, then make him research and learn about PTDS, anxiety, depression, anger, relationships, etc etc etc, until he gets himself better to a stage of semi-normal functionality again.

Medication is just a bandaid to the underlying problems. I see little difference between suppressing the problems with medication and suppressing them with dope or alcohol. You husband might need medication for the rest of his life, or he can get of his arse and learn how to fix himself, and be less reliant upon the stuff. Medication is not going to fix his anger, depression, anxiety attacks, suicidal thoughts, etc etc... I have been there, done it. People here are on medication, and still having the same problems. Its a bandaid, not a permanent solution. Knowledge is the key to PTSD, then practice that knowledge and apply it always. He needs to know, and he needs to be told, especially if you want your life to get any better for YOU!
Hi Anthony thank you for your reply I understand it as you said he has to get of his arse and do something. I will go and get some info from the clinic and shove it in his face.
Thanks Jen
Hey Jen,

Yep, sometimes they need a rocket and that's just what I gave Anthony, after all the fighting (etc) to get him to straighten his ways. Thank god he took himself off to VVCS and it has been a lot better for us since then. Even better after we did the PTSD course. I doubt that a relationship with someone with PTSD, will ever be uneventful but I guess the key is managing that so that both of you get something from the relationship. Otherwise, what is the point?

We struggle daily but it is getting easier for us. I guess we are getting into our own little groove with things. Mind you he has been a pain in the butt recently. Finally, I said to him this morning 'are you unwell Sweetheart?'. 'Yes, I've been unwell for a couple of days' - not that anyone could have guessed, cranky pants. Anyhow, like I said to him, he needs to tell me so that I can show some empathy for him and let him slack off a bit to ease his stress. Easier than growling at me!!
Aaah yes piglet, the ever elusive communication process of someone with PTSD. Sometimes I think Anthony is the sane one.......and then I slap myself. Thankyou, I needed that light hearted comment while I am sitting here trying, in vain, to complete an overdue uni assignment. And not even chocolate is helping the thought process at the moment but damn it tasted good. Rich, chocolate mousse........mmmmm.
Hopefully we might be getting somewhere my husband read some of the info I got from VVCS and wants me to book him into a couple of the courses and he wants me to get in touch with the PTSD clinic at Heatley for him. Hopefully he will follow this through if I book him in.
Anthony with the clinic at Heatley do they run courses there through the VVCS or is it through someone else?
Do they have courses there or is it counselling?
Thank you Jen!
Jen, The clinic in Heatley is the actual PTSD clinic, where they run the 8 week PTSD course. Some shorter courses are run in the conference room opposite VVCS, but the PTSD course itself is run in Heatley. To get onto the PTSD course, you need to contact Martha Landman at the PTSD center in Heatley, as she is the one who manages the course. Being TPI, your husband is paid for via Vet Affairs, as the PTSD center is part of the Mater Private Hospital, and they deal directly with Vet Affairs for you. All you need to do is book in and see Martha about getting onto a PTSD course, and thats it. She does the rest.

Basically, you just need to have PTSD, and you need to WANT to get better, and generally not on illegal drugs or serious alcohol volumes, ie. a bottle of spirits a night. The course starts out as 2 days for the first 2 weeks, then goes to 4 days for the next 4 weeks, then back down to 2 days a week for the last two weeks.

It is best that you actually attend as well, as partners play quite a significant role in the healing process.
i am very keen to do the course with my wife,the last few days have been hell for the both of us so i want to do the course not only for me but kim as i have heard great things about this course i want to get on the right track and give her some much needed happiness. god knows she deserves it. paul
Mate, the good thing is, is that the Townsville course actually has the highest success rate in the whole of Australia... and so it should I think, considering the vets it puts through their. The Townsville course contains some of the best people in the business, that lay things out without all the technical BS. There is one doctor that dribbles, but you just ignore his sessions, as the rest is so forth it for your overall health, well being and relationship.

Keep us updated on that one Paul.
Hi Anthony and Karen it has been a while since I wrote. Just thought I would let you know I am seeing a counsellor through VVCS who is good to go and talk to yesterday was my second visit and we spoke for 2 hours I didnt realise how long I was there for. He seems to say the right things. I still am getting upset and feeling down I have decided to go on to antidepressants to hopefully start feeling better about myself.
The counsellor said a lot of my feelings are because of the way my husband was treating me by being verbally abusive in the past. VVCS rang my husband yesterday and are going to book him into seeing a counsellor as well.
Thank you from Jen
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