General Need a Shoulder - Husband Suffers PTSD

[anthony]

Good stuff Jen, glad to know that your both getting the appropriate help to resolve some issues within you both. The facts are, is that both parties tend not to know the implications of PTSD, generally until its too late and separation has occurred for the wrong reasons, and not the right reasons. The general problem though is that those with PTSD and spouses of PTSD sufferers tend not to start looking for help until its nearly that time to just drop everything and get the hell as far away as possible.

Its really good that you are both getting the correct help though. Don't think your going to see instant results in a large capacity, because it won't happen. Dealing with PTSD, living around PTSD, takes a lot longer to get better at, than it did the way things are for you both now.

This is generally because even though the sufferer learns to change, the people around them don't, thus they are always expecting outbursts and moods, so in actual fact, the spouse and families common reactions around them are enough to set things back off again, because the person who suffers is trying to change, but the ones around can't. This is another whole problem though, and one that needs lots of time and patience to get past.

Your doing really well though Jen, congratulations on the current milestones, and I hope that things continue to improve through counselling and relationship building.

 

[Jen]

Thanks Anthony we have had a good day today thats what it seems to be one day at a time.
Jen

 

[anthony]

This is generally because even though the sufferer learns to change, the people around them don't, thus they are always expecting outbursts and moods, so in actual fact, the spouse and families common reactions around them are enough to set things back off again, because the person who suffers is trying to change, but the ones around can't. This is another whole problem though, and one that needs lots of time and patience to get past.

Oh, and a very important point I missed here, is that I didn't write vice versa. The other side of the coin is that spouses / family learn enough about PTSD to better themselves, but then the sufferer thinks they don't need to fix themselves up anymore, thus everyone just jumps on the merry-go-round once again.

Basically, if you think about two paddocks with a gate in the middle, one person on each side of that gate, and both parties need to be at the gate talking with each other. When both parties are satisfied that things are better, and a life can be led together, one opens the gate and the other steps through to join and become one again. The fence can then be knocked down at that point, hopefully to never be built again.

If one person is at the gate, and the other is still in the middle of the paddock and the gate is opened, only doom is the end result, as both parties are not fully satisfied with themselves / the other party that resolve can be established.