Need Help With Domestic Violence

[Justmehere]

Just taking clothes and computer phone and essentials for now. Will worry about getting other things with a friend while he is gone at work.

Great steps! Way to go!

 

[shimmerz]

While I was screaming my boyfriend locked himself in the bathroom and cut his arms saying I attacked him to get his phone.

I was involved in this type of situation. It was horrifying. You have done well if you have left. Good for you. From this point onwards, the above quoted issue is the largest imho.

In order to be safe from this point onwards you must NOT be near him without someone who is an advocate for you standing right beside you. Or better still not at all. NEVER EVER. If he acts nicely and tries to bait you back in, know that it is a manipulation and a lie. If he is willing to self harm and accuse you of violence and blame your PTSD once (and police fall for this shiest these days) he will do it a million times.

The police will always side with the woman IMO where domestic violence is concerned.

This type of attitude gets people dead or worse. This is SO not true.

 

[RussH]

something you can do is contact a local church and explain to the Pastor your situation. The Pastor may have so ideas, or contacts regarding somewhere you could stay.

 

[saoirserylyn]

I took all of your advice and left. My coworker is letting me stay with her until Friday when her husband gets back from a trip. It's buying me time at least and my boyfriend knows nothing about her, doesn't even know she exists.
My boyfriend texted me saying he's not willing to get off the lease or leave the apartment. I am no longer going to communicate with him. So I texted his mom stating what I wanted to happen. She wrote back saying that what I'm offering is reasonable and she will talk some sense into him tomorrow.
I offered to let him off the lease, clean slate, he owes me nothing and I offered to give him money to help him get into a new place. For now on I am handling everything through his mother.

Once he's gone, I'm going to talk with my complex about possibly moving into the other section of the complex with a garage (so he won't see where my car is parked or know which unit I am living in). There's a clause in my lease that if I've been here at least three months and need to upgrade or downgrade, they will if space is available. A smaller apartment will save me money in the long run.

He's sent a ton of texts saying he's depressed and he is looking at my pictures and can't let me go, that I need to come back and talk to him, but I'm not responding. I'm done with everything.

I hope everything goes smoothly with his mom tomorrow and I hear good news about him leaving. Fingers crossed that I can finally move on with my life.

I'm really scared about taking care of all of this alone, but I know I need to be strong. I called and set up an appointment with my therapist, so that she's at least in the know and can help incase he doesn't leave.

 

[WildMermaid]

So glad you have a safe space to make your decisions in! Letting his mom know the extent of the mind games and the terror of the abuse may help her help him. However, please be careful and pay attention to the way things feel and your surroundings. Sending good wishes your way dear. :hug:

 

[Sam115]

You need to get out of there ASAP. That behavior will happen again!

 

[sun seeker]

You need to get out of there ASAP.

She just did. Or do you mean she shouldn't move back to the same complex after he moves out? It's not clear from your post whether you're giving her the same advice she already acted on (maybe you missed her last post), or something new about staying away from him in the future.

I took all of your advice and left.

Awesome! I'm impressed by how fast you took action to protect yourself and that you aren't caving in to his manipulation. It may not feel like it, but that shows a lot of strength. Good for you.

Did you get a chance to get that arm looked at?

 

[Cool Cat]

@rightkindofme where I'm from it would generally be the case

 

[Seagreen]

@saoirserylyn well done for taking action. You are obviously very strong. I hope you are safe.