Childhood Needing A 'cuddly'

[Deleted member 12723]

You are just perfectly normal.

My husband died a year ago and I hung onto one of his soft flannel shirts and when I need it is there under the covers close by. You sure are not alone.

It is a good part of self care to find comfort for ourselves. I used to have a baby blue soft lop eared bunny that actually took the pain out of my stomach when I slept with it. But alas, I lost it when in a hotel and it was left behind under the covers. I called the place to retrieve and ship it to me and the maid took it home. Lost forever. Now I have a soft purple lop eared bunny that is always on top of the covers. It was the last one in the shop and the do not make that kind anymore.

 

[rainy_daze]

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/teddy-bears-anonymous.30392/

^ You might be interested in this thread @Lucycat , it is one of my favourites :laugh:.

If I'm not using my elephant or my super soft bear, then I am cuddling my partner or my bed covers. Softness is good, it relaxes and comforts, which is vital for sleep. I think it's the feeling of my cheek being nestled. It's hard to describe.

@Namenotdiagnosis I had a special pillow when I was a child. I sprayed it with my mother's perfume :laugh:. I still spray my pillow with lavender fragrance sometimes to help me sleep. It probably reminds me of the pillow.

@FridayJones "lovey" is such a cute term for that :).

 

[Mit]

Somewhat at a tangent to this...or opposite I guess.

In preparation for the innumerable hospital stays throughout my childhood my parents always bought me new pyjamas, or on the occasion when I ended up in hospital a short notice I would have to borrow some from the ward. I soon began to associate new pyjamas with hospital, and slippers for that matter. Since the age of 17, when the surgeries stopped I have never owned or worn pyjamas, or slippers..Dressing gowns yes. My partner has often offered to get me some, especially for the winter in our old, cold house. I have looked at them in the shops, but strangely (or perhaps not..) I just don't want them. I have a sense that to wear pyjamas would 'take me back'. They are something I strongly associate with being a child, and childhood for me was full of pyjama clad scary experiences.

Weird though, the human mind....or mine at least!!

 

[Lucycat]

I am beginning to regret this thread. It has made me feel vulnerable and exposed.

I do wonder if the replies would be any different from a non traumatised population. I can see I am 'normal' here but is that the normal I need?

 

[Karen12]

Little kids all (most) have 'loveys'. Common knowledge. But when my son was at Children's, I learned every kid there had something special that they loved on/ comforted them. Each and every single one. Most brought from home (some substituted / given something by staff), and a wide array of objects. Mostly blankets and stuffed toys and books. Some quirkier ones : a whisk,

A whisk! For some reason that tickled me. I like that.

I am nearly fifty and I still sleep with a few stuffed animals, one I've had for years and is quite worn (I'm allergic to dust mites so they get washed often). If I had a spouse I probably wouldn't keep the stuffed animals but I'm alone. I don't see anything wrong with needing something to cling to at night, when you're alone, or just during tough times. It seems completely normal and human to me.

 

[Mit]

Hi @Lucycat. I hope my post didnt upset you. maybe it wasnt the best place to make my comment. Im sorry if it did.

 

[Lucycat]

Hey @Mit in no way did your reply upset me. It is just me. I need to take a step back and think about all this.

 

[RussH]

wonder if the replies would be any different from a non traumatised population

I think you would be surprised how many non traumatized people still have cuddly things to comfort them.

 

[Kintsugi]

A ton of the kids I went to college with had some sort of comfort item, a lot of stuffed animals, blankets, and pillows with special attachment. I didn't bring mine after the first or second semester... I frankly thought he would get "hurt." ;)

Now that I have three dogs, stuffed things are not safe in the house unfortunately.

 

[Lucycat]

I was reading in my coursework today about the use of 'Transition Objects'. These are - in essence- cuddlies that belong to the therapist but are adopted by the client to use between sessions. They are actually recommended and can be any number of things. Those described in my text book ranged from a written text in the therapist's hand, to a piece of jewellery or clothing that belongs to the therapist. The idea is that the client can 'use' the object to recall learning from the therapy sessions and make use of this between sessions.

On reflection I think I have used text messages in this manner. Reading and re-reading a message, not simply for what it says but to get that connection and think about what T would say or suggest in the moment.

 

[Lucycat]

My cuddly has come out of the cupboard this past week. I found I was needing it again.

 

[moonbeam]

I have a teddy bear. I got it when I was 10. Its moved with me including to Uni.

My husband prefers to cuddle me. But has kept his childhood stuffed animal as well.

I know lots of adults with stuffed animals or blankets or whatever. I don't think its that abnormal.

If it comforts you then take it out.