Needing Some Accountability

[Justmehere]

Why do I do this to myself? I feel like the person who just can't peel their eyes away from a car accident scene. :(

I need to not watch or read the news right now. I have family in the defense department and in public health, and certain things are pretty engrained in me about certain problems in the world. Basically, I just get really freaked out scared about problems I can't do anything about. Then I feel like the world's biggest wuss, then I beat myself up, then... well, you get the idea. It's a bad spiral and nothing good comes of it..

I don't have a TV, so when I want to get caught up on the news, I read it online. I think it's good for people to be informed, but this is overkill, and I'm just making myself sick. I should not be doing this to myself. I don't know why I am. It doesn't do me any good!

Yet for some reason, I am having a hard time NOT checking the news like 5-7 times a day.

So this is my effort to make myself accountable to the interwebs... I will not be checking any news sites for 5 days - basically until my next therapy session. I hope my therapist doesn't think I'm totally nuts when I tell her about this. She told me already that she avoids the news too. I want to avoid it! But for some reason, I just get sucked in... ugh. :( I feel awful.

 

[Friday]

Sometimes I do triggery things when I'm slipping into a depression.

It's subconscious, I don't know I'm going downhill, but my body must... Because this has become a pattern I can look out for. And, if I'm really on my A-game, instead of doing triggery things that will kick me into panic, I can do lower level adrenaline things (read: fun, and healthy) instead.

I don't know if this translates... But I love when I can catch myself before I fall / get excited instead of feeling stupid. "Why am I doing this to myself? Oh. That's why! Score!"

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Please check into this thread every day to reach your goal and get accountability. Great major step for you.

I do not follow the news on tv or online unless it is a story that interests me which is not very often. Good luck.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I do not watch or listen to news. I don't read newspapers. I don't read books that are violent. Yet somehow I know there's an Ebola outbreak in Africa. I know Robin Williams died. My knowing comes from standing in line at the supermarket and I read the covers of the magazines. Also Facebook posts are often about current events. I want to breakup with Facebook but I like seeing that I have friends because I am agoraphobic and hardly socialize.

Getting a daily dose of the suffering of the planet is not a good idea for us. It's triggering, it feeds irrational fears, and happy stories give us a positive experience of life on Earth. I love it when I see a story about a homeless ratty dog get rescued and back to wagging his tail. We can be rescued too. But it sure isn't coming via the media outlets. A John Prine lyric is "blow up your TV, eat a lot of peaches..."

 

[risingsun]

I went through a news obsession some years back. It was daily. I had to know about this that or whatnot. The last time I got sucked into a courtroom trial. I watched it everyday until the verdict. It was a horrific and unjustified verdict. I realized that by watching it, it was a waste of my time because I truly had no control over any of it. It became one more thing I felt like I couldn't control in this crazy world. It was one more unnecessary thing to add into my already overloaded mind.

Then I realized the one thing I could control; myself. It was to turn it off. I haven't really watched the news like that in a couple of years now. It was hard at first, but in the end, it was worth it. I realized that I was spending a lot of time watching and worrying about other people's lives rather living my own life.

In your case, since its the internet, maybe unplug for a spell and try and working offline. Or try training yourself not to click on that news story, saying 'there are many things in this world I cannot control and this is one of those things.' You can do this. I went through the same thing. Unplug from the madness. Do not beat yourself up about anything. The past is already gone and tomorrow is too uncertain. Stay in the now. You can do this. You are stronger than you think. Warmest to you, Rising Sun.

 

[KwanYingirl]

There's a website named jigzone.com if you like jigsaw puzzles and the internet, you can occupy your mind with puzzles of pretty scenes. I get lost in it.

 

[Justmehere]

I am so thankful for everyone's support! I felt so dumb and embarrassed after I posted this thread, but I wanted to stick with it. I am so thankful for everyone's support! It really helped me a lot not just give up on this goal already. It's only been a few hours, but so far so good.

It's subconscious, I don't know I'm going downhill, but my body must... Because this has become a pattern I can look out for. And, if I'm really on my A-game, instead of doing triggery things that will kick me into panic, I can do lower level adrenaline things (read: fun, and healthy) instead.

There is some kind of pattern with this for me too, and I am craving that adrenaline rush somehow to kick me into gear, only to overwhelm me. II like your perspective of seeing it as a good thing to catch rather than something to feel stupid about!

I think I am going to try to go for a quick jog or read a comforting book that I have whenever I feel the pull to check the news.

@gizmo, thanks for the encouragement. It means a lot :) I will be posting here daily until I reach my goal!

@KwanYingirl - Facebook is sort of my frienemy right now. It's my way to connect but also hints at the news. For now, I will stay connected there.

I love it when I see a story about a homeless ratty dog get rescued and back to wagging his tail. We can be rescued too. But it sure isn't coming via the media outlets. A John Prine lyric is "blow up your TV, eat a lot of peaches..."

I love those stories too. I think what really got to me was that I was missing out on really enjoying a lovely lunch with friends today because I was fighting anxiety about a news story. I was there, but not really there. I need to unplug from the news so that I can live my life to the fullest, whatever life it is.

In your case, since its the internet, maybe unplug for a spell and try and working offline. Or try training yourself not to click on that news story, saying 'there are many things in this world I cannot control and this is one of those things.' You can do this. I went through the same thing. Unplug from the madness. Do not beat yourself up about anything. The past is already gone and tomorrow is too uncertain. Stay in the now. You can do this. You are stronger than you think. Warmest to you, Rising Sun.

Something about this is so very key for me. I have control issues that I am working on, and maybe that is why this is coming up big time for me right now. Thank you so much for your very kind words. They brought some relief and courage to my heart.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I get wrapped up into doing that, too. It's not just the big headline news either. I click on all the traumatic stories of car accidents and murder and fires and everything that's ever scared me. Not good. I have done much better lately but found myself doing it a few days ago and had to pull myself away.

 

[joeylittle]

Facebook is sort of my frienemy right now. It's my way to connect but also hints at the news. For now, I will stay connected there.

I love the phrase "Facebook is my frienemy". I so agree. Here's a handy hint: "like" all the posts about puppies and kittens and nice things. it doesn't take very long for your feed to then be populated with more posts just like that. If you have any friends that regularly post news items, just go into your settings and block them from your feed. You can turn Facebook into a more happy place for yourself.

 

[shimmerz]

How about the good news network. Nothing like good news to give you the warm and fuzzies. Changes the adrenaline rush patterns as well. Just google goodnewsnetwork. They have some pretty heartwarming stories.

 

[Justmehere]

I'm about to fall asleep so I will have to write more later. I am happy to report that so far, I have not read any news sites. It is making a big difference and I am learning more about why/when I am tempted to anxiously check the news. It's going to be a tough couple of days, but I am hopeful I can keep facing this and not give in.

 

[Justmehere]

@JEKBreatheandBelieve - I'm sorry you feel drawn in to read scary stories on the news too! It's tough.

@joeylittle - thanks for the hit about liking Facebook posts that are happy. I have enjoyed doing that and my Facebook feed is already more positive. Whew. :)

@shimmerz - Thanks for the recommendation for the good news network! I like it! :)


I think I am going through reading-the-news withdrawls. Ugh. I have noticed that as much as reading the news stresses me out, it's also a distraction from things in my life. Yesterday, I was very irritable all day. The more irritable I felt, the more I wanted to check the news. It was quite tough. It's all so strange.

Even though I was more irritable, I also felt happier by the end of the day. I didn't have any news-related nightmares last night and that is going to help too. I'm hoping to make this a longer term change in my life if I can get through this week.