I married my high school sweetheart at age 17. We had one daugter and he was very abusive, (physically, sexually, mentally). We divorced about six years later. I dated, but ultimately settled with the man that I had the least lust of passion with. I know it sounds weird. Maybe it felt safe to me at the time. I had not found myself or accepted myself and wanted so much to discover-which I did. I married him and we have 2 daughter. Because he had little demands, I was able to heal from psychological injuries very well. I had so much opportunity. He trusted me 150 percent. Yet he was neglectful in my best opinion. After 17 yrs. we seperated. I never stopped loving him. We just could not connect.
Nine years later, our daughters are raised but our divorce is not final. I still love him and he says he is in love with me. I have dated other men, he has dated nobody in all these years. He is very focused on work-so I believe him.
I know this is complicated-bottom line, life is not easy. He thinks Im great. I do not not find him real interesting but do love him. He was comforatable and stable and consistant and reliable. He is a computer nerd and I am a social person. We both want to give it a go, Im afraid of hurting him again. We did defer our relationship for our kids, who ar enow grown. I am afraid. I hod back for many reasons. I am afraid of loving and being hurt, I am afraid of being let down.
He does not believe in counseling much and that scares me. He has always been very resistant to change. I never want to hurt him. Yet I wish, for many practical reasons that we were happy together. Anybody have any experience with anything like this? Please share with me as I am very uncertain either way. Is there hope?
Nine years later, our daughters are raised but our divorce is not final. I still love him and he says he is in love with me. I have dated other men, he has dated nobody in all these years. He is very focused on work-so I believe him.
I know this is complicated-bottom line, life is not easy. He thinks Im great. I do not not find him real interesting but do love him. He was comforatable and stable and consistant and reliable. He is a computer nerd and I am a social person. We both want to give it a go, Im afraid of hurting him again. We did defer our relationship for our kids, who ar enow grown. I am afraid. I hod back for many reasons. I am afraid of loving and being hurt, I am afraid of being let down.
He does not believe in counseling much and that scares me. He has always been very resistant to change. I never want to hurt him. Yet I wish, for many practical reasons that we were happy together. Anybody have any experience with anything like this? Please share with me as I am very uncertain either way. Is there hope?
