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New And Tired Of Being Scared All The Time

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Thanks, again, everyone who replied.

Anthony, yes. I understand about wanting the worst trauma first. That’s why I like this site. I always suspected my therapist (s) had it backward. The last one that wanted to do the EDMR and go from the earliest age, and trauma, I could remember and work up to the major one (s). They all seemed to do that. Why do you think they do that?

If the worst trauma you have had, is not the one that caused the PTSD. Which do you begin with? I mean if you already had PTSD, and THEN the worst thing you could ever possibly image, (or couldn’t EVEN imagine!) happened a year or so later? Which trauma do you choose first?

Also, when making the bullet point list, do you go in chronological order? For instance, I read your list about your deployment. ~shudder~ was that your worst traumatic event? Or was the whole list, just one component of the trauma that caused your PTSD.


Sorry for all the questions, I am having a “slow brain” week!

*Waves at Veiled*
Thank you for your patience, I’ll read some more this week and try and get some clarity for myself!


Also. Thank you for the welcome, Cathy and Becvan. (Becvan you will find the money well spent for that book! It’s a work book, type book; I didn’t own the copy I read, so I need a copy also!
Thanks once again, to all! Sorry if I am sounding like an idiot just now.
LF
 
Lotusflower said:
They all seemed to do that. Why do you think they do that?
Because they work of the technique they have been taught, being the understanding that if you start with the easiest first, then slowly work a person into the worst of their trauma then the results will be less painful for the client, and whilst that does work for basic counselling, it doesn't work well at all for PTSD, because the very nature of PTSD itself undoes what they do faster than they can heal any smaller issues. PTSD is the neurological imbalance within our brain, the symptoms are the side effects of PTSD. PTSD feeds on our fear from past trauma, and the biggest most significant trauma we have is what feeds it the most. So as you can see, to really put the brakes on PTSD quickly, you need to go into the biggest trauma head on, knowing that your going to fall down and collapse for months afterwards, getting the worst out of the way, the rest seem insignificant in comparison then. You see, counsellors have too much to lose, liability and so forth, where if you do the more effective method as described above, then you do it yourself, merely simply needing support to get through it and use your therapist to bounce ideas back and forth even though you are so low, depressed and often suicidal, you must know all these things beforehand, then go into it expecting the worst. Anything less, is just a bonus. Once you open the worst trauma, the rest will come flooding back, but you must stay focused on working through the worst trauma, really pulling apart, even though you want to go jump off the tallest building and end your life, you have to prepare, you have to fight for your own life, to get it back. It works, and has been proven here time and time again... everyone so far comes out of it and they begin feeling much better than ever before, yet still up and down with more trauma if present. It takes a good year, minimum, to fight through multiple trauma, and that is if your committed to working very hard at it, regardless how much you want it all to end, fight like hell and pull yourself through, breathe when your body comes up for a day or two, then continue pulling your life apart when you go back down.

Your brain is at its weakest point when you hit rock bottom, and whilst it is difficult to do anything at that level, you must force yourself. Chipping away at all the insignificant smaller issues does nothing with PTSD itself, because the major problem just keeps beating the other issues back into play again, so to speak. Take out the biggest trauma, then the next one becomes the biggest, then the lesser than that one becomes the biggest, etc etc... as you can see, the smaller issues become your biggest issues, which makes dealing with them a piece of cake compared to the initial trauma itself. Its a way to help the person fight and continue fighting, because once you get past that worst trauma, you regain a lot of confidence within yourself that you can get through the worst.

Instead of trying to build that self confidence to fight over years, you can do it yourself just by fighting through the first, and worst trauma.

Lotusflower said:
If the worst trauma you have had, is not the one that caused the PTSD. Which do you begin with?
The best way to find what your brain actually interprets as the worst trauma, is through mental imagery, being that it can help you to know what your worst trauma is, being the one that is at your sub-conscious beating the hell out of your life. Anything that is on the conscious mind, is likely not accurate, and more PTSD is hiding the real issue. Not always the case, but often enough. Some people are much better and more intune with themselves to know what the real trauma is, but the brain can be one hell of a tricky beast.

Lotusflower said:
Also, when making the bullet point list, do you go in chronological order?
The best you can, more for ease of reading... by age is usually the best, so a real perspective can be gained by age where things went wrong.

Lotusflower said:
For instance, I read your list about your deployment. ~shudder~ was that your worst traumatic event? Or was the whole list, just one component of the trauma that caused your PTSD.
The list I gave for an example, is a very small component of my own trauma. My actual list would be around 200+ traumatic events from operations. That list was just a few things from a humanitarian aid operation I was involved.
 
Anthony,

Thank you very much! That’s exactly what I needed to know. I believe it too. I think my mind has been pushing me in the right direct, and I have struggled, not wanting to *Go There*
But I think your being will fight, to bring you vital information, about what you need to survive, just as it does with hunger or thirst ect…

My two yr. old Son was kidnapped and tortured, because of something I said that insulted (enraged) someone. I do believe that I had PTSD before this, but nothing will ever touch the sheer horror of that. I should be dead already. I am thankful to God that I came out of the worst (emotional) black place that I was in afterwards.

I am fighting again, to love my Daughter, as she DESERVES, (not just with the crumbs left of my heart), and my grown sons, (one of whom is 22 and in the army, Special Forces-Air Defense God help him!).

My family was torn apart over this and the events that followed. I want to help them all heal But I need to start with myself..


LF
PS-to Terry, Thank You for the welcome.
 
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