Sufferer New and uncertain. don't know my cause of ptsd. history of depression & anxiety. alcoholic husband.

[Lady Moonlight]

Hello all,

I'm very hesitant to put myself in an open forum as I am really struggling and fear negative comments. I can't tell you exactly what the cause is for my PTSD, but that's my diagnosis. It makes it hard to feel like it's real since it seems like most people have something defined, like accidents or defined abuse.
My husband is an alcoholic which is something that triggers me and something I am still learning how to cope with. And I have a past history dealing with depression and anxiety. For me, the worst symptoms are the pervasive anxiety and overwhelming fear. The lesser problems (loss of appetite, shaking, insomnia, hyper vigilance) come and go. But the anxiety and fear, after being triggered, seem to stay for days, sometimes longer. I have used essential oils. I see a wonderful therapist who specializes in trauma. I researched PTSD and even wrote a paper on it for school (which turned out to be extremely difficult to write being too personal).

I'm not sure what to write. But I feel that nobody really understands this in my life. When I try to talk about it, people think I'm ridiculous or joking because I haven't seen combat or anything like that. But it's very real.
It would be nice to talk about it without feeling crazy. I really don't know what else to do at this point. It's very lonely in my little world. I don't want to bore you all with my story or irritate you either. So, I'm sorry if I do with any of my posts.

I hope to get to know some of you better.
Thanks for reading.

 

[Deadman]

people think I'm ridiculous or joking because I haven't seen Combat or anything like that. But it's very real.

Trauma is trauma. Welcome :) I hope you find some of what you need here with us.

 

[Lady Moonlight]

Trauma is trauma. Welcome :) I hope you find some of what you need here with us.

Thank you. And you're right.

 

[Gadgie]

Quote........." ridiculous or joking because I haven't seen Combat "

You don't need to been in combat to suffer PTSD, any kind of trauma or bad experience can bring it on.

I hope you settle in, and read a few more threads on here, as I'm sure you will find that you are not alone, and you will find all the support you need from the good folk in here, good luck.

 

[Esterio]

Hi Lady Moonlight Nice name.
Welcome to this forum. You should find this to be a safe and non-judgemental place to come and share with others who have been there. I am glad you found us you are not alone in this anymore. Lots of good people ready and willing to share and to support when needed. Again welcome.
Peace be safe

 

[ladee]

Welcome... we are sorry for what brought you here, but glad you are here... here in the year 2017 you would think people would know by now not all PTSD is military related....so you are in the right place...lots of support,

Hope you find friends and hope here... it's a wonderful healing community like no other.... hope to see you around...

 

[Lady Moonlight]

All of your comments are much appreciated. Thank you all. I hope to see you all around.

 

[Michael Lastname]

I'm with those other post - great name :)

So yeah, part of the brain processing your trauma is matching the instigating event to things with similar attributes so that you can avoid danger in the future.

Danger can be anything that threatens your self - this can be your identity or your personal safety. It is a little abstract but essentially anything that makes you, you is #1 priority for your brain to protect.

often things too horrible for us to process get kind of un filed so we still have them in memory but they are floating around unattached to the time they happened. I think this is where we get the term repressed memory.

This field is very controversial, and lots weigh in with wacky ideas and other are a little too close to be objective. For myself I have some lost time that others have recounted to me (horrible events) that I have no recollection of but remember before and after quite well.

It is likely if you can't put your finger on a trigger even and you fit all the other symptoms, maybe your brain has yet to process the even and so has not filed it in a place where you can remember it at will?

Listen to yourself. Your brain is an engine that matches similar things. Things similar to traumatic events will hit you pretty hard, seemingly for no reason. These are clues to the originating event / events. If you do not remember it is because you are unable to process it. Beating yourself up about not remembering something horrible is never going to be helpful.

Focus on ways to cope and limiting your exposure to things that you know set you off.

It is foolish to expect yourself to be able to think clearly when you are bombarded with thoughts or panic and doom. Do not put yourself in those situation knowingly. And if you find yourself there, don't beat yourself up for not being about to just deal with it. Listen to yourself.

Nurture yourself and let others know your boundaries.

This helped me:
Trauma And Recovery, by Dr Judith Lewis Herman

I think it might be the way back. Even if it isn't, it is a good way to educate your friends and family. You need them to understand as much as you need to understand yourself.

Thank you for sharing and for reading my reply,
Warm regards,
Mike.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Welcome to the forums :hug:

On this forum, only a percentage is made of veteran and military PTSD sufferers.

Noone here (at least of the ones I know) would nor should judge you for anything you wrote.

I recommend starting some threads around the different sections that ring to you, and finding support :) you can't get it if you don't ask for it

 

[Lilminks2]

PTSD is not discussed much outside of individual counseling. It is sad that people have no clue what it is and what it does to someone suffering from it. My family and friends do not understand that it wires your brain different from theirs. That it is a very real and horrid condition. You don't just snap out of it or get over it.