New- Glad To Know I'm Not Alone

[lmower]

Hi I’m Laurie, and my husband and I have recently been diagnosed with ptsd. The odd thing is, is that the trauma happened to my husband but by me arriving at the scene of the horrific accident, it has caused me to have the same psychological symptoms as my husband. I’ve lately been able to talk about it but for some reason I can’t seem to talk about it with my husband. Our relationship now is constantly on a roller coaster because of this.

My husband worked for a demolition company that basically consisted of him and his boss which was his best friend. They got a bid to do a huge demo on an abandoned mine. They were dropping huge silo tanks by blow torching the legs and then taking a machine such as a back hoe and pushing the tanks over. This worked great for them for the majority of the job. Until one day they were both underneath a tank blowtorching one of the legs when it started to shift, and they both went running for their lives. The boss didn’t make it out alive and by some miracle my husband was launched by some beam out of the way of this tank. When he went searching for his boss all he found was his hand out from under the tank. The guy only had a couple steps to get out of the way.

This mine was practically in the middle of nowhere and I didn’t want my husband driving home. Not to mention he refused to be taken to the hospital in the airplane. I of coarse arrive at the scene and see the whole thing. It didn’t hit me till a couple months later that my husband should have been dead. Currently my husband suffers from injuries due to the accident and now cant work. We’ve been experiencing nothing but problems with workers comp, but I guess that’s a completely different story.

The frustrating thing is that no one understands the way we feel and even family members will tell us to snap out of it and move on. I wish I didn’t have to feel the way I’ve been feeling. I wish it were that easy to just snap out of it. I wouldn’t wish ptsd and all the other symptoms upon anyone. I just want to say how glad I am to have found this forum and knowing there are other people out there that feel the same way that I do.

 

[BethRSA]

Hi Laurie and welcome to the forum!:hello:

I'm glad you found us. I hope that you and your husband are able to see a therapist to help you work through your emotions about the accident. Many times, it's more difficult to speak about our emotions to our close family members than to speak to someone who can remain neutral (like a therapist). Maybe subconscious you and your husband don't want to trigger each other.

Anyway, please look around, read, etc. Unfortunately, you and your husband are not the only married couple who have both been through trauma. Fortunately, that means that there are/will be people who understand.

See you around!
Beth

 

[tryintobreathe]

Hi Laurie,

Welcome to the forum. I am so sorry you and your husband had to go through that. I am sure it must be so frustrating when people say "snap out of it". If it was that simple, we all would have done that by now! You will find some great people here to talk about these things with who do understand.

Jen

 

[JohnnyM53]

Welcome to the Forum Laurie,

How easy it is for others to say "snap out of it", and yet they can feel total compassion for themselves when something happens to them.

I had to deal with such a situation last year when I was trying to generally explain to my siblings (of all people who should understand!) that, probably because I was very little, I was more deeply affected by the traumas at home, and still was.

And so I came to the conclusion that, whether they or anyone else understood, it wouldn't change a thing (other than eliminate unneeded frustration) in my recovery, as their understanding could do nothing for me. So I gave up trying to make others understand how I continue to be affected by my experiences, and just focused my energy on finding solutions for me.

That said, I am certain you will find the Forum to be a place where people do understand what you are talking about, and the struggle you and your husband are facing.

Johnny

 

[Pixie]

Hi Laurie

I am so sorry that you had to experience that! Workplace accidents of that nature are very traumatic and I'm sorry that you aren't getting the help you need from the regulator. They should be helping...

But, I am glad that you have found us here and can find support from others who understand and can relate to what you both are going through.

Rell