New Here And New To Being "diagnosed"

[MattR77xx]

Hi. I just posted in military life, but I wanted to introduce myself here to all.

I'm an Active Duty helicopter pilot, and have been clinging to my flight status while my personal life slowly descended to hell throughout the last 7 years (after my first tour, through my second tour in Iraq and the years since). Throughout the decline, the cockpit was the only place where I felt at home.

I've pissed away good women, slowly isolated myself and while I still have a few friends here and across the country, they don't live with me and the loneliness that used to be comforting is now bringing out all the emotions I've been trying to cap off for the last 7 years. Lost friends, lost soldiers on the ground while I was overhead, and the continued exposure of 1,500 combat flight hours in 27 months deployed have left me alone and a shell of who I was before the Army.

Everybody asks me "why are you single still?" or I get the "I've got the perfect girl for you", and I avoid them like the plague because 9 times out of 10, they are NOT perfect for me.

I was diagnosed a while back, started talk therapy but had a real P.O.S. as a therapist. He'd read from a binder, and frequently cancelled appointments after I drove an hour to get to the appt. I spent the last few months trying it on my own, but things recently boiled over on a sleepless night. I went to the Psychiatrist on Thursday and started Zoloft that night. I have one BUMPING headache, and am constantly wondering what it will feel like to feel the benefits, and also can't wait to start with a new therapist with the VA.

Is it just me? Anyone else have those problems? It feels like I'm an island and the water is shark-infested.

Hope you're all well. Thanks to whoever for setting this thing up. I need all the help I can get.
Matt

 

[reddevil1111]

Welcome. you know not every medication works for everyone. You might talk to the doc and ask if you can try something else. I take pills for rage, pills for depression and more pills to keep me from having attacks around people. I am pretty sure my doc want to start me on yet another medication as well to help with the rage. I have bigtime anger issues. I have for years.
The nice thing about this place is its filled with people who have the same issues and questions. You are not alone on that island it just feels like it. Hang tough and you will see. There are plenty of us around you we are just a bit hard to see at first.

 

[tho9900]

Matt.... I flew backseat in the choppers as a medic... yall guys did shit I still am amazed at... Zoloft didn't work for me... talk to your doc... it took me about 4 med changes to get the right one.. and for the most part (lol for the most part)_ I am stable now..

I think collectively we could all tell your story in pieces.. not everyone has been where you are, but we all have been there as a group...

Good group of people here... you will find your group and bond as I have... but everyone understands... they might have been infantry waiting on an evac, a medic rolling in on a heavy casualty run, a platoon with you bringing em in... but ya,,, we were with you at some point and time..

Feel free to open up... no one judges here... for damn sure..

 

[Jimmy1]

Welcome Matt.

This place helped me a few years back so I hung around to pass on the help. There are also a heap of other guys from all over the world and from all different trade streams and different conflicts so we have a pretty diverse group.
The one thing we all find the same is the symptoms related to this beast, they can vary though.

PTSD can never actually be cured as yet, but with therapy and the right medication, you can learn to manage the beast within. Some people manage to actually wean themselves right off medication.

Like you, at work I felt secure and at home all while my marriage, friends, and children were pushed away. There came a time for me though when work became of no interest either, that is when the shit really hit the fan and they gave me the boot. 20 years + of dedicated service and it was gone in a blink.

There is life after that though.

Zoloft is a general medication that they throw people on for depression and it can be used for anxiety too.
Do me a favor and always read up on each medication they put you on and always ask questions.
Don't be too fussed with the side effects either. Depending on the dose, but what you described was a seratonin headache, well that's what it sounded like to me. But all medications can have some reaction which eventually fade over time.

Well, I am starting to go off track and wander. Welcom again mate.

Jimmy

 

[Lee C]

Welcome mate

 

[Squaddiedave]

Welcome buddy

 

[Tim Cake]

NO -- it isn't "just you" -- the beast hits all of us -- even a lifer like me.


Welcome rotorhead!

 

[abnvet]

Welcome aboard

 

[killcatsandeatum]

Matt,

First off thank you for starting this thread. I know that this is a couple months old but I am curious. I too am on flight status. I have known something has been wrong for a few years now but I keep putting it off. It has gotten to the point that my wife is giving me ultimatums. I can't go on like this. I will be in school till next summer and thinking about trying to fix myself while not having to worry about being grounded. So, what advice can you give me as far as staying on flight status in the future. I am at 18 years and just need to make it a couple more.

Thank you.

 

[Jimmy1]

Sometimes you have to ask if it is worth it.

As long as you can function then its fine, but if you are straying a bit and your concentration is not all there, then you could kill not only yourself, but someone else.

Go see a private shrink and get an opinion mate.

 

[nomedic1]

Welcome