New therapist

[RVA21]

I have a new therapist, it all happened quite fast, it's through a charity and I'll get about 10 sessions which is ok. We had our first session last week and the therapist is nice and easy to talk to.

There are some things I never talked about in therapy yet in the past and I want to get those out, abuse from when I was a teenager.

Some of it feels like it will be hard to get the words out, I'm a bit worried about not knowing what words to say (some of the things are kind of .. not clear memories .. more body memories). I'm worried about there being silences while I try to get the words out.

There's things that had a massive impact on how I relate to other people, dysfunctions caused/made worse from abuse.. I want to be able to talk about that stuff as I never have before.

Even in my first session I was quite upfront and managed to talk a bit about a specific coping mechanism that happened from abuse in childhood. I could never have talked about that a few years ago, I would have been too ashamed. I think I am making more progress than I though I was.

I mentioned about some recent abuse too and the impact it is still having ( I am still in a grieving process about that ).

 

[Wendell_R]

Some of it feels like it will be hard to get the words out, I'm a bit worried about not knowing what words to say (some of the things are kind of .. not clear memories .. more body memories). I'm worried about there being silences while I try to get the words out.

I think the most important thing is to be open with your therapist with whatever you are feeling. Sometimes memories come up, and even though you are not talking, something very deep is happening. I have had times in therapy when I haven't said a word, but I'm right there filled with emotion and coming to terms with something, and crying, and my therapist is telling me what great work I'm doing. Other times, I've felt frustrated that I'm in a fog and not able to make out what's happening inside me. Your therapist will completely understand that it's hard to get the words out. If you have a fuzzy sense of something, it's okay to say that you have a fuzzy sense of something.

You're doing great!

 

[Mach123]

It is so extremely difficult to get out and I spent years literally dancing all around things and referring to them by saying other things and I lose track of what I'm actually trying to say sometimes.

Then there's how I feel about it and how it's affecting me now.

The result for me has been having to go through things over and over, slowly processing bits and pieces. Approaching then backing away. The therapist calls this doing "the anemone."

I know there is more. As we go back and forth lately she has been saying "I'm trying to go deeper." I know I resist her.

I'm as willing as I can possibly make myself.

Starting with someone new is a real challenge but I was ready like you. I was just like "We are going to do this together." She'd say "how do you know?" And "why are you so sure?" I'd say "I just know." And "It has to be you because I'm finished with this if it isn't"

I wish you well and that this would be a perfect match for you and much progress and healing.

 

[RVA21]

I think the most important thing is to be open with your therapist with whatever you are feeling. Sometimes memories come up, and even though you are not talking, something very deep is happening. I have had times in therapy when I haven't said a word, but I'm right there filled with emotion and coming to terms with something, and crying, and my therapist is telling me what great work I'm doing. Other times, I've felt frustrated that I'm in a fog and not able to make out what's happening inside me. Your therapist will completely understand that it's hard to get the words out. If you have a fuzzy sense of something, it's okay to say that you have a fuzzy sense of something.

You're doing great!

Thanks!

Yes, it's fuzzy, that is the word, I will tell her this :)

It is so extremely difficult to get out and I spent years literally dancing all around things and referring to them by saying other things and I lose track of what I'm actually trying to say sometimes.

Then there's how I feel about it and how it's affecting me now.

The result for me has been having to go through things over and over, slowly processing bits and pieces. Approaching then backing away. The therapist calls this doing "the anemone."

I know there is more. As we go back and forth lately she has been saying "I'm trying to go deeper." I know I resist her.

I'm as willing as I can possibly make myself.

Starting with someone new is a real challenge but I was ready like you. I was just like "We are going to do this together." She'd say "how do you know?" And "why are you so sure?" I'd say "I just know." And "It has to be you because I'm finished with this if it isn't"

I wish you well and that this would be a perfect match for you and much progress and healing.

Thanks :)

Yes, this is what happened, I dodged things - they really get to the heart of some of my biggest issues, I'm ready to deal with them, finally! Well, she asked me what I like and I said animals and she is an animal lover too so that is good.