Sexual Assault New to ptsd

[Jessicara123]

So I've been in therapy for my ptsd anxiety and depression for 7 months.

Unlike most people I've had two assaults happen to me in the space of three years. The first, was something that I wanted then Pturned into something that was forced and threatened my life so I just did as I was told, the second was something that I completely didn't want and was forced against my own will.

I'm now seeing someone I really really like after 9 months of swearing celibacy, and I just think I'm not good enough/not normal/constantly think I should die alone.
I'm really beating myself up for seeing something because I just think I don't deserve it.

 

[joeylittle]

Unlike most people I've had two assaults happen to me in the space of three years.

That's not uncommon.

 

[sundailk]

That's not uncommon.

Unfortunately. Yuck.

Affection can be uncomfortable, but why is it to you? To me it's poor trust. It's not a cure, but I guess knowing which emotion it stems from is a direction.

I feel the same way even though I know I have good qualities that can build a strong relationship, but I relapse because I realize I'm not happy deep down.

Do you really feel you don't deserve it? Or is a reflex to the trauma? I say that I don't deserve it either because of trauma, but in aware it's a in the moment talking. I hope you get the support you need and want.