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A.J. Bastian

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So, this is my first time in a place like this. I served in Afghanistan in 2010 with 9th Engineer Support Battalion, Alpha Company, United States Marine Corps. While in Afghanistan we got into a few scrapes but nothing major. I did not think these things would effect me as much as they did. While serving, back home my buddy was struggling with PTSD from his time in Iraq. He committed suicide and I had to find out through Facebook. I feel like these two things coupled together just put me into a state of disbelief. After coming back nobody really knew how I felt, I kept to myself a lot and pretty much only hung out with a few of the Marines I deployed with. My girlfriend and my relationship struggled a lot for quite a while after returning, and still does to this day. I also have this feeling that because I am not in the fight right now that I am pretty much useless, I feel like a lesser being because other people are doing their part and I am not right now. Has anyone else ever felt like that?
 
Welcome A.J. your not alone mate. We have all come home only to lose a lot of things in our life and feel useless.
A lot of us have been discharged for psychological reasons from the career we loved. It feels unfair.

This is a safe place where you can be what you want to be and say what you want to say as long as you respect your fellow veteran which I know you will have no problems with.

We are all here for help and to give help. Something you may say without knowing might help one of the many, many readers who are not ready to sign on in yet.

Once again, welcome mate. Pull up a chair do some reading, have a vent, or ask some questions.

Jimmy
 
Hello A.J. Those feelings are normal. But you've been there and done it, so don't let the feeling beat you up.
(says me). Welcome, I think you will find this site a good place.
 
A.J.,

Welcome brother! Glad you found us (not glad your here). This place is caulk full of info and is also a good place to vent, learn or not as you please. Pull up a chair and read away.

Fargo
 
Hi AJ:

One of the biggest problems I continue to face is survivor's guilt. As strange as it may seem, I somehow don't put myself on the level of combat vets who were killed or those who were wounded badly. I survived intact. But what this forum has helped me realize is that my service was at the same level as others who went to war. I was ready to give it all, but through the grace of God, I was spared. But because I survived that doesn't cheapen my efforts.

Stay with us. I can attest to the healing that is going on with me. I only wish I was diagnosed earlier and had found this forum earlier.

Jim
 
Welcome! survivor guilt gets even the wounded. I was not wounded but felt I didn't do enough for those that had fell. You have found a great family here! One for all who gave! For your girlfriend I suggest that you check into some PTSD conciling that allows spouces. I did this with my fiance and in twelve weeks it totally changed our relationship it gave us more of a bond like that of your marine buddies. Not all the way but at least it is a starting point where she can get an understanding not from your mouth and it will put reality in place for her. I did it once a week for twelve weeks with Seren and it has helped a lot. I did the free one the VA gives at night. There is also couples counciling designed for relationships dealing with PTSD at the VA. If it is to far of a drive there is usually some kind of traveling group that a councelor puts on at a VFW or American legion. The best of luck and if you have any questions between all the brothers we most likely been there or are going through the same thing even meds. So just feel free to do as you please vent, question or anything. Just remember to be respectful of others and it is a free for all. If we don't like something you have to say we can not read it or send you a private post to slow down but as you read you will see we pretty much take it all and will try and help if we can. TEX
 
I agree Tex, getting your spouse help or even getting her to read some of the articles Anthony has written helps.
 
Welcome AJ! We have all experienced coming home to find a different world than what we left. It can leave you feeling lonely and depressed, not to mention angry and displaced. Here we understand, we've been where you are now. Come on in and sit a spell. You're always welcome!
 
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