Night Mares From Combat

[alex haworth]

my name is alex haworth. i served in the army. airborne infantry. i have been having problems sleeping i keep having nightmares. last night it was my sister and soon to be ex wife. we took contact first my sister died. then my wife got shot next to me. after taking out the tangos she died in my arms. i was all alone. she got pregnant by her co worker when we were married. it took a toll on me. but i still have feelings for her. it hurt to have her die in my dreams made me feel as though she was leaving me and i couldnt get her back. i enjoyed my job and was good at it. i cant take the after effects of what i did. i wish i could be normal and sleep and live like everybody else.
please if you are dealing with similar things respond i am in desperate need of help.​

 

[Jimmy1]

Alex,

I wish I could tell you that everything will be alright, but I would not lie to a brother. I will tell you a bit about my story so you know I understand.

I apparently had PTSD when I returned from East Timor in 2002. I suffered from dreams, flashbacks, hypervigilence, etc. I used to yell at my wife and children for nothing. But they stuck by me and I was posted north.
My wife and I split and got back together numerous times and then she fell pregnant. One month after the baby was born I was deployed to Iraq. Whilst I was over there, I was told that the little bundle of joy who I loved so much and had witnessed being born was not mine. A paternaty test proved it.
Regardless of that we tried to make a go of it after I returned but 'The Beast'' which we call PTSD returned with a vengance, with whole new nightmares. I could not even do the basics at work.
I was medically discharged and my wife split from me during the PTSD course. She said there is no way she could handle my behavior, and you know, I don't blame her. I constantly tell people on here that partners of us with PTSD have to have extremely thick skin and a carefree attitude.
The little girl Rose who was not mine still came to see me after we split. She was my solitude. When I was in very dark places her innocence would drag me back. When they moved 1500 km away I almost committed suicide.
I had dreams of an IED going off and killing everyone I love from my parents to all my children and step children. I walked around the destruction picking up pieces of their bpdies.
My therapist said the dream meant a new start and the road to forgiveness for my family. It was a way of me telling them I was sorry for my behaviour and I forgave those who had wronged me.

That was 2006 mate. I am now with a beautiful woman who is marrying me for me, beast and all. She is aware of my mood swings, my anger outbursts, my need to isolate.

You too Alex will find a new life. Don't blame your wife for leaving because of the PTSD. Get the right medication and therapy buddy. You will be right mate.

Jimmy

P.S. We are here for you. And there are guys on here from the states who can guide you to the help you need.

 

[Ned]

OK Alex. What Jimmy said. I would emphasise getting the anti-anxiety pills so that you can regain a perspective.
Don't worry about death in dreams. Jimmy is right. Your brain is that of a fairly primitive animal to which death is closure and 'move along'. Pretty much same as life, there.........

 

[reddevil1111]

20 yrs and I still have f*cked up dreams. Not as often but there you go. I have soaked a mattress and bedding with so much sweat that the bed stayed wet for 2 days. Hard core nightmares. you are not alone and wont be. But you do need to get the help you have available. It will help out a TON. Goodluck and welcome to hell.

 

[Jimmy1]

I had some Hard Core dreams, but they were not like yours. hahahaha

 

[alex haworth]

those kind of dreams are dreams i have every night sometimes worse not good for me to see that. my wife use to hate that i sweat so much in my bed.