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Age 40 too! I think we must be extremely smart to have been through all we have and not succumbed to a fate much worse! LOL!
Have you tried expressing it in other ways? You could try artistic ways of expressing feelings, or sports, or meditation, whatever rings your bell.I just wish I knew how to say what I am thinking and not stuff it down til it keeps me up at night.
What kind of medicine do you take if you don't mind me asking?