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No Clue What To Do

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See that's what I don't get. That click. How many visits does it take to feel this? I have trust issues and I know I have difficulty letting ANYONE in to my space, self, life. Suppose I don't get that click on the first visit? Is that enough time to determine if I should move forward with this therapist? I'm lost I guess.
 
Suppose I don't get that click on the first visit? Is that enough time to determine if I should move forward with this therapist?
For me, it's not. I'm might take an immediate dislike to someone and that's something I probably couldn't, or wouldn't, overcome. But I don't believe very many relationships of ANY type get established in one shot. With my T, who I've come to trust as much as I trust anyone alive, there's been a couple of years of "maybe he's nuts/ maybe he's dangerous/ maybe he's actually ok". During the first few months, there were a number of times when I told myself I was going to try something completely different and give things another chance. That was a good decision. LOL
 
Indeed! That was a good decision!

I have decided that I will stay with her for now. I struggled over and over about this decision. I got angry. I cried. I got sad. I blamed myself. I have to take that chance that she may leave me stranded again. I have to live in the present and not the future. Living in the future causes too much anxiety. If I survived people leaving me during my childhood. I can certainly survive this as an adult! It won't be the first time someone has left me and I am sure that it won't be the last. We have to live in this moment, right here, right now!
 
She's an awesome therapist, but I worry she will bail out on me.
Who is more important to her, you, or herself (her health)?

It isn't about bailing on you, and to be honest, that is a little selfish based on the circumstances you have stated here. She has health issues, has closed her practice, and you're only really worried about you in all of this. You ask her how she is, but that is pre-tense to you confirming whether she is going to continue being there for you, regardless of her health.

I honestly feel you need to take a closer look at your actions here, and shift away from the, me, me, me, to the her, her, her, and find yourself a new therapist and let her get on with her life of taking care of her own health, if that is what she has already chosen by closing her practice.

I'm not having a go at you here, but I am stating the obvious which I wonder whether you're considering in all of this opposed to selfish needs and wants. We all have those, but they have a time and place, and I'm not sure this is one of them.
 
Who is more important to her, you, or herself (her health)?

It isn't about bailing on you, and to be hone...
It appears as if we are both wrong! I assumed she was completely closing her practice. She is actually cutting back clients and keeping a few. I happen to be one of them. And yes, you are right. It is selfish to be in therapy for me me me! However this is what she is paid to do! I am not there to pass time. I have every right to want to fix myself. You are forgetting the purpose of therapy my friend. And yes, she is human and has her own issues and bumps in the road. You don't know me and I feel you have inappropriately judged me. You have no clue as to the relationship i share with my therapist. You need to back off. Ban me if you want. I am speaking my mind!
 
P.S.
Before you assume anything about anyone maybe you should stop and ask more questions. Maybe get some more info. I am sure you do not know about the times when I have called off therapy so she could rest.
 
It is selfish to be in therapy for me me me! However this is what she is paid to do! I am not there to pass time. I have every right to want to fix myself. You are forgetting the purpose of therapy my friend.
I think you're getting a little defensive here, and as such, sidetracked to my response to your original posts details. You have turned around what I said, to something completely different. I never said it was selfish to be in therapy, nor did I say about paying therapists, nor about you wanting to fix yourself.

I said:
that is a little selfish based on the circumstances you have stated here. She has health issues, has closed her practice, and you're only really worried about you in all of this.
Its great that she is only downsizing and that you get to stay. But what you read, and what I said, are two very different things. The bit about payment you write, makes me now think that you feel entitled to the therapist of your choosing, and that your therapist has no say in who they take on as a client.

You write information, people respond to that information. If something changes, you say so... you post wanting opinions. Pretty simple. I see no reason why you need to get defensive though, nor twist words to convince yourself of things that are not said.
You need to back off. Ban me if you want. I am speaking my mind!
Like seriously... relax and discuss things please, don't defend or attack, it really isn't warranted.
 
Hi everyone,
I have a huge decision to make and I wanted to seek advice here.
My therapist left me l...

I think you may have nailed it for yourself when you mentioned closure. It feels undone. Maybe you having a bit more control over when it ends because of the abandonment issue. Maybe see if she'll work with you on support until you get another therapist you trust?
 
I have to take that chance that she may leave me stranded again.
Has she left you stranded before now? I note your issues around trust and just wonder why you'd put yourself back in this place with her if she's left you stranded before now? Very hard to "fix yourself" if the person meant to be working with you keeps pressing the very buttons you're trying to heal.
 
I think in your position I'd want to stay with her, but view it as something shorter term, while she supports you in finding someone better able to move you on to being able to do trauma work. It's fine for it take months or years to reach the stability needed to tackle that work safely, but it needs to be the ultimate goal if we are to heal.
 
I think you're getting a little defensive here, and as such, sidetracked to my response to your original po...
I am relaxed this morning. But you made me feel like I am not a good person. And that wasn't fair. Maybe you needed more info than I gave. I get that!
Do you want to know why I am worried about her leaving me? Because I care deeply about her. She is an amazing caring compassionate person. I am as well. I genuinely care about others no matter what their circumstance are.
 
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