No Contact Support Thread

[user27357]

It helps to have a family member willing to take the calls when they come and make the calls when they are necessary. We got those out of the way in the first year and I had the luxury of a buffer, a huge help. I can sympathize with those of you that have to deal with the things that can't get left undone. In the legal society we all swim around in, there are things to do with family that we can't avoid. Get finalized and be done with eventually, hopefully, but not just because we say we don't want to anymore. Thats got to suck for those of you without the help of a willing partner.

 

[Ellabella44]

having a family member that enforces space durring non contact definately helps enough. my brother, his girlfriend, and my step sisters support non contact for me right now. They have never liked the way my mother treated me and generally seem to not like her much anyways. Its accepted that I need time off. I dont know how his girlfriend got my mother to stay away, all i know is it is working she is leaving me alone.

Emotional abuse has gone on even after I have left home for several years getting so bad that just to tolerate her I had to be drunk. I dont know how long I will be non contact. It has been 8 months. I like fridays "reasonable time for banishment" and a review of if this person deserves parole. I cant possibly see my mother until I am stronger. trying to see this period as not running away but more of caring for myself by making things safe so I dont keep shoving salt in old wounds.

 

[Philippa]

I had the same intention @Ellabella44...to stay away as long as it took in order to get stronger. In the state I was in I would not have survived if I had continued to let them be around me. For my situation I did not feel that it would be a forever situation...however, as time went by, I also came to feel in my gut that it was a hell of a lot of effort to put in with people who were not willing to step out of denial and be brave enough to admit to their crap, and sincerely apologize, and that I really didn't want to waste my time with them...as awful as that might sound. They will never change and I will never have any kind of real relationship with them that is based on honesty because they are so unwilling to own their own crap and projections.