No More Money, No More Therapy (for Now)

[Hashi]

Perhaps my financial situation will change enough and I will be able to go back.

I hope so.

I've also found it hard to cope while having therapy. I think for me it's for the best to have a break now because I have to find another job and I felt completely unable to do that while doing trauma work. It feels like a mess to stop working on healing right now, though.

you are far more practical and level-headed

Orphan Child archetype. Survival is everything. Emotions are dangerous luxuries. It's not always a good thing to be that way.

 

[Hashi]

I'm going to try taking a break from the forum for a bit.

I need to change my focus while I'm not having therapy. It might be best not to have so much thinking about PTSD and even healing, for a while. I don't know if it really is best, but I won't know unless I try it.

So I won't be around for a while but hopefully for good reasons. (If it doesn't work out, I reserve the right to be back in a day and a half though ;))

 

[Pencil]

You will be missed. But I know that one needs to see other things. There's an amazing wide world out there.

 

[quaintpapercut]

It might be best not to have so much thinking about PTSD and even healing, for a while. I don't know if it really is best, but I won't know unless I try it.

Like all things in life sometimes we need a break in order to get a fresh perspective on things. It's hard when one becomes so immersed in ptsd, trauma and all the symptoms and you've been working really hard for a while now. I'll miss your insightful posts Hashi and I hope that things work out for you with job hunting and such. I may not be to far behind you - 4-6 weeks for me before I need to change my focus as well so I can relate to the challenges that come with changing directions like this.

 

[Abstract]

Hashi,

There was a lot I wanted to say but didn't get there for certain reasons. Mostly I wanted to say that my heart truly goes out to you. That I can only imagine how difficult this situation is. How painful.

I was stuck out back into the world mid trauma therapy even though I had only touched on it. Very different to the situation you are in where you were eyeball deep in it. I can't imagine what that must feel like. Let alone adding in when one struggles to trust and to show ones vulnerability, manages with great bravery to do so, only to then have that space taken away. I know how much you feared this and not that long ago. I identify with much of that too.

And as I said before, although I think keeping contact is a step forward, I do think there are times where basic survival is the focus and where possibly those old coping means are still useful. You know what you need to survive the next challenges you face.

I hope you can hang onto what you got from this therapist. She obviously cared a lot and you and her did great work together. And you obviously very bravely took many steps that were new to you in your life. I understand the temptation or even need to to cancel it out. How much safer that can feel. I believe you can make this work and find your way back to therapy. Most of all don't let it distance you from getting help long term. You are strong enough to hold onto what you got and make your way through this next phase.

If you find yourself unable to let go the issue that upset you with your therapist then maybe come back here and discuss it. Sometimes it can break it down I find as difficult as that is.

Remember too that there are lots of creative ways to avoid the most stressful aspects of work for us. I truly hope you find you can do that for you. If I have not mentioned it I recommend the book, "what colour is your parachute" which has lateral thinking exercises in it that may help.

Mostly I wish your orphan child strength and self belief whilst balancing that by staying connected to any healthy help and connection that you can find available to you.