General No More Self-sacrifice

[The Hermit King]

No matter what he says about getting out and things getting better right away its bullshit so you should know that now. When I first got out of the Army I was at my worst and so were a lot of my friends who got out. It took a long time before I got a grip and squared myself away. Its been six months and you hate and resent him already, no you are not going to be able to stick it out long enough for him to get his shit together you will only make it worse. So walk. You are part of the majority. This is what most people do when you have a disability. They turn their backs on you. They resent you. They betray your trust. I don't think I will ever trust a woman enough to marry her. You are a shining example of why that is. I was engaged once, when I was still in the Army before I ever went to war. Things were awesome and we were so in love, then I got deployed to Iraq and after about two whole months it turns out oh wait, she cant handle being with a soldier and she dear johned my ass. I was f*cked up over that for a long time because I REALLY loved this girl but now I thank god I never married her because even if she was there for me when I got back she would have ended up showing her true colors when she realized I came back with PTSD and she would have crushed my f*cking heart even worse than before by putting me through a divorce when I needed her the most. You should have really thought about how much you loved the guy before you agreed to marry him because it sounds like there wasn't much strength in your bond to begin with and people now a days think that this "til death do us part" shit is just a cute little saying. I hope you end up with exactly the kind of guy you deserve and that you have yourself a wonderful life.

 

[Steph_F]

sometimes, things are not meant to be...even if everything in your heart, head and guts tells you is should be...everything happens for a reason but still I am so sorry for the loss of your relationship Chemlight...that really sucks.

Don't bash on Nicolette though. It's not her fault your girl walked away. She's in pain, just like you are, but she didn't cause your pain.

PTSD seems to create a fundamental change in people, I've seen it in my own soldier. On top of that, people just change, they grow apart, instead of together...it happens.

 

[NikkiNikki]

Sorry to hear what happened to you Chemlight...Most of the women (supporters) are here because we care/cared so much about our men with PTSD that we're desperate for answers and support. I came here looking for answers and support because I wanted to be with my sufferer. I loved (and still love him) him so much I was willing to to anything to help & support him so that we could be together, but he was the one who gave up & turned his back. We had never even been in an argument & one day everything was perfect & wanted to get married & the next day I am getting dumped via email. I've seen a ton of women on here & the other PTSD board who want to be help and support their sufferer only to be pushed away...It sucks.
There are good women who will be there & will love you even with this horrible illness.((hugs))

 

[The Hermit King]

I was actually having an episode the day I first posted on this topic. Sorry everyone and sorry to the OP. I don't know you and how bad your situation is and I haven't even thought about the whole dear John shit that happened to me in years. It just suddenly popped in my head when I read your post, I don't know why. Anyway I hope your guy gets his shit sorted and I hope whatever you end up doing that you really do find happiness. Sorry if I came off as an asshole.

 

[Mockingbird13]

Chem,
Its the nature of the beast.... - luckily alot of us here do not judge you - we all need a place to vent and say what's truly on our minds.

We all handle anger, memories, stress so differently - Hang in there, dont be afraid to be you !

 

[Steph_F]

- luckily alot of us here do not judge you -

She's right, those of us who care (very much) about a Vet with PTSD probably do not judge the Vets on here who are helping us so much by opening up and like MB13 said just being yourselves! Thank you!

 

[NikkiNikki]

No worries Chem. No judgments here.