Normal Or Cptsd

[rosey]

Feel like I don't know what is what with me anymore.

I have shown signs of ptsd since I was 4 years only but was only officially diagnosed with Cptsd and OCD 4 years ago when I took steps to get help.

So now I have a whole list of symptoms, behaviours, triggers and so on that I am working through albeit slowly. However recently I find my mind wonder which bits of my life, personality, disorder and so forth are linked to my trauma and which are just inherently me. would I have OCD if I hadnt had the traumas? Do I overthink because that is inbuilt in my DNA or is it the trauma?

Does anyone else have such confusion? and how do people attempt to unravel what is what?

 

[Deleted member 541]

I think when you've had PTSD for most of your life, then you are who you are. I've probably had it since around age 10, but not diagnosed till age 41. Just thought I was really nuts all those yrs with the crazy behavior, thoughts and all that PTSD offers us.

I wouldn't worry too much about what is what, or which symptom is from what... Just work on your trauma, even if it's slow paced. Things will get better, they may get worse first, but they do get better with a lot of work and focus...

 

[rosey]

@She Cat thank you for those very insightful and sensible words. You are right focusing on that is not really beneficial and probably just my over thinking at play again.

 

[ShodokanJenn]

I agree with @She Cat . Instead of focusing on trying to attribute different symptoms and traits to one or both of the disorders you've been diagnosed with, focus on changing what needs to be changed, and adapting to and living with the things you can't change, and put your energy into the healing process. It will go slow sometimes, and sometimes you'll have breakthroughs and sometimes you'll feel like your moving backwards. It's all part of healing. It often gets worse for a bit and then forward progress happens. Keep reaching out for support both here and with your therapist and any other trusted individuals in your life.