Not Excepting The Label Very Well

[GirlFriday]

Hi, I'm apparently a sufferer of PTSD after working several years in law enforcement. I say "apparently" because I'm not really accepting that label very well. I mean, I know somethings not right, as does my poor therapist, but ya know..just not fond of the label.

Anyway, I was a CSI for several years and was very, very good at my job, including holding a board position in a national organisation. However, cases started getting to me and I burned out. Or so I told everyone. In actuality, I couldn't concentrate, couldn't sleep, developed an ulcer, and was a virtual train wreck. Though of course my department didn't know, and neither did my husband or family. I've gone years hiding things from them, because I don't like being coddled or seen as weak.

Lo and behold, I became friends with a soldier that returned from Afghanistan and he saw through me almost instantly. So, I agreed to see someone and sure enough...PTSD. I vary daily between wanting to ignore it, and knowing full well that I can't. My tough side wants to just stuff it back away, but my logical side knows that its not going to get better if I don't keep working on it.

But as some of you know...its not easy.

Anyway, thank you for reading, and I'm glad to find this place. It helps tons to read your stories.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Welcome to the forum.......

Denial is a huge part for a lot of people. But, it only works for awhile. Stuffing works too, but again, as you probably already know, that too, only works for awhile... Eventually you will crash and burn, if you don't work on things.

This place has a lot to offer. Read as much as you can, and ask questions......

 

[anni]

Hi and yes :),

You've obviously read enough here then, to know there are others who just avoid the whole 'PTSD' thing on the premise that perhaps one is weak or if something is 'wrong' one should just be able to strong arm one's way through it. In my Scots family, a fever of 104 was tolerated with tight-lipped impatience for a day by everyone, the sufferer included. It certainly makes it easier to have allowed the PTSD to have a gotten a dandy foothold on things since it tends to get 'stuffed', doesn't it?

It must have been odd but somewhat comforting to have been 'outed' by a vet. I would have to imagine that person would be as no-nonsense as one could get in their reading of the situation, also. It's a very cool thing that you took his reading of you seriously, as well, even if you're still having some trouble getting your head around the diagnosis. I have a friend who I absolutely know has PTSD but pooh-pooh's the heck out of the subject whn it comes up to the point where her eyes glaze over now. It's used to be frustrating but now just sad, since one can only do what you can do. Kudos to you for listening.

I hope you can keep coming back. As a professional yourself, I would have to imagine the sound and solid information in the library here would be extremely helpful. There's also something about how well organized, maintained and run this particular forum is which makes it comfortable to keep returning to. It provides a platform for just plain not being alone, which to me has been the single most helpful aspect, I think.

Take care,

Anni