docboob#49
New Here
I was a Dustoff Medic in country from Jan., 1969- Jan., 1971. (Yeah, I was dumb and extended twice) I can't think about this shit for very long because of the overwhelming grief and pain it brings up.
Was first diagnosed 20 years ago, but have never been able to talk about it enough to go for treatment. Now, because I use legal medical cannabis to treat the symptoms of Secondary Progressive MS, I'm, told that the VA won't treat me for PTSD.
That's OK because the cookie cutter treatment programs they've got now don't fit everybody and I'm one of those everybody's.
I don't have a "precipitating" event or events. When asked this at the VA, I just said "pick a day" From what I saw, they don't treat too many Medics at the Phoenix VA because they just don't seem to get it. I feel like Medics get a different kind of PTSD. Not better or worse, just different.
Anyway, I've pretty much resigned myself to just "living with it" if you can call it living. Haven't been able to let anybody get close to me for 43 years, been through 3 marriages, have 3 kids who don't talk to me. Now, I live alone except for 3 dogs and 2 cats.
Sometimes I hate being so isolated and sometimes I think it's for the best. Can't watch any kind of war movies or watch footage of any of the current wars without having to leave or change the channel. Still catch the smell of blood once in awhile and can still vividly remember how American blood and Vietnamese blood felt different in my hands. Nobody should have to remember something like that. I hate "The Wall" because, to me, it's a monument to death.
Had my battles with the bottle over the years but I seem to have tamed it for the last 15 years. Never had legal troubles and always managed to hold down a job and provide for my family so I guess I'm lucky in that respect.
This is all I can manage for now.
Was first diagnosed 20 years ago, but have never been able to talk about it enough to go for treatment. Now, because I use legal medical cannabis to treat the symptoms of Secondary Progressive MS, I'm, told that the VA won't treat me for PTSD.
That's OK because the cookie cutter treatment programs they've got now don't fit everybody and I'm one of those everybody's.
I don't have a "precipitating" event or events. When asked this at the VA, I just said "pick a day" From what I saw, they don't treat too many Medics at the Phoenix VA because they just don't seem to get it. I feel like Medics get a different kind of PTSD. Not better or worse, just different.
Anyway, I've pretty much resigned myself to just "living with it" if you can call it living. Haven't been able to let anybody get close to me for 43 years, been through 3 marriages, have 3 kids who don't talk to me. Now, I live alone except for 3 dogs and 2 cats.
Sometimes I hate being so isolated and sometimes I think it's for the best. Can't watch any kind of war movies or watch footage of any of the current wars without having to leave or change the channel. Still catch the smell of blood once in awhile and can still vividly remember how American blood and Vietnamese blood felt different in my hands. Nobody should have to remember something like that. I hate "The Wall" because, to me, it's a monument to death.
Had my battles with the bottle over the years but I seem to have tamed it for the last 15 years. Never had legal troubles and always managed to hold down a job and provide for my family so I guess I'm lucky in that respect.
This is all I can manage for now.
