Not Sure About Posting This, But Need To Be Heard

[seedling]

I found that acupuncture helped me with the physical part of the over-stress reactions. Took me down a notch and gave me room to breathe and remember what it was like to be relaxed (in a relative sense). Started to re-regulate the stress hormones. Sometimes it released emotions, I felt like it did that in a way that I could process them and feel relieved of them afterward.

I think that some kind of physical treatment (if it works for you) compliments (talk style) therapy. Massage, Reiki, acupuncture, Somatic Experiencing, EFT, (possible to combine nutrition with any of these).

The trauma stuff is so involved in our bodies.

I just got out of a toxic job situation. Whew! What a learning experience! Hope I learned enough to steer clear for a while of people like that.

Hang in there.

 

[Deleted member 20978]

You say you want to hear from others who can relate. Yes, I can. Definitely. Everything actually sounds like you're describing my own life (because you're omitting the long gory version). Childhood of emotional abuse and neglect. Mother who started my trauma. String of new traumas and betrayals rendering me just beyond functional. Why can't I be released from this situation that will neither end nor heal?

I relate to all that.

 

[renee5g]

I know your pain.I have visualized killing myself ,how where and when.I even realized the flaws,if I shot myself on the bridge I would have to face away from the water or I would fall on the road not over the bridge.I don't own a gun,never will ,so I'm not sure why I came up with that idea.I hope someday this idea will fade away and life will be better,maybe I just want to know I could do it .My girls keep me going ,I would never put them through my suicide. Life sucks sometimes.

 

[Tinyflame]

It came to me (speaking only personally) it's not the fear of death which is frightening, or fear of life, nor reactions of just hopelessness or despair in or of themselves, but rather the fear or reality of more pain & loss. Yet life has both, so it's precarious realizing I can no longer manage any more of either. Too much of both.

Also, I've paid attention & it's only about the 1st under one minute of waking where I can feel stress or anxiety subdued (provided it's not waking from a nightmare or night terror). Nothing works to extend that minute. God knows I've tried.

 

[VioletButterfly]

I'm back down again. I just don't know what's wrong with me. I'm not rallying. I so appreciate all of you for responding and am sorry that many of us are in the same boat. I do pray for all of us each day, that we find healing. It's like some of you said though, it feels like it will never end, that it will continue until my dying day. I know that is probably distorted thinking to - the never and forever lies that flood my being are flooding me and my anxiety is very high. I'm exhausted, but can't sleep because of the anxiety.

Others have overcome, others have pulled in light.... Heck, I've encouraged others to seek out the faintest bit of light and move toward it. So, why can't I seem to apply any of what I know consistently to my life? My T called me the day after our appointment and we discussed upping therapy since I couldn't wrap my brain around going into a facility, but I don't know how to work this out with my job as she's 30 minutes away from me and has a jam-packed schedule, so I don't know when I could go. So much to manage for me and my mother. Sorry, I'm just overwhelmed. It's like I'm treading emotional water and getting nowhere.

Seedling - My T mentioned this to me as well. Thank you for your suggestions. And, I hear you and Stickler on the job. I've been in toxic jobs before and walked, but now I have no money so am trying to find another job before leaving. VB

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes same as me VB, though that's not helpful for you. And the anxiety is overwhelming & unbearable. And a past recent event causing fear & avoidance, of people, places, even particular clothing, music. Etc. Just to say I wish I could offer something, I'm so sorry. :( :hug: