Not Sure What To Do Here?

[Philippa]

As many people in my class are experiencing, I am questioning whether I want to continue on with my course at this time.

I loved the last module and all the discussions, and got a lot out of it personally, but now that we are on our holiday break until nest tuesday, I have become aware of the fact that I am not left with a lot from Austudy, after paying fortnightly rent, and I need to find a way to make some extra money, so I can continue to feed myself, and my darling kitten.

I would gladly not eat to make sure she could, but that is not realistic, as if I die of starvation there will be no one to feed her...but then, she can just eat my face off so it's all good.:laugh:

Just kidding...I've got a warped sense of humor at times, don't mind me.

So, I am trying to figure out whether I should just soldier on, as there are now 5 modules left before we graduate, and I need to start organizing for my placement sessions, which is real art therapy sessions that I need to get experience and complete the course. I haven't looked too into what I want to do for them, and have been pre-occupied instead with trying to figure out what to do about money.

April, my kitten, needs to get her second vaccination, according to the vet...but I'm wondering if that is really as vital at this point as she made it out to be? What are the chances of her catching kitten chlamydia when she is house bound?

Does anyone know much about this?

So yeah, I'm not left with much at the end of the fortnight, and the job I do have they do not need people at this time, as it is adhoc work in a call centre, doing surveys. Boring work, but the pay is good and I can just sit there and tune out and doodle. As call centres go, it's probably one of the better ones...but it's still a call centre.:alien:

I am also quite sick, and have been all the way through the course, but I've been pushing myself...god knows why. Because I've been enjoying studying again, and getting out and having something to work towards, that is meaningful and challenging. Now though, I find I am not so inspired to keep going, even though the last module was awesome.

Meh.:meh:

Can anyone offer some words that might help me to come to the right decision for me right now?

I realise that no one can make the decision for me, and this thread is probably more of a rant and a venting thread than anything else, but if you feel the need to chime in with any words of wisdom or inspiration, please feel free to...

I want to look after myself, and I've been going through so much all through this course, in my personal life, with moving house, and then this stuff with my parents, and mum in particular recently...she really did a job on me. I'm doing better today, and have friends, but she really tore me up and broke my heart open the other day.

I'm kind of feeling like I want to just take some time out from school and really just get back into creating my own thing...like get an etsy shop happening, and doing my own art therapy in my own time. I HATE time constraints, and the processes they get us to do, whilst helpful, are always under a strict time limit...which I hate. It actually hinders me from feeling like what I am producing is coming from an authentic place, even though they re-assure us that whatever comes up is what is meant to.

Decisions, decisions....

 

[Eleanor]

Sounds like you need a break from formal school work. Do they run concurrent classes - so you could pick up again at the next module start date? Or is it a year to year thing? How big a "time off" commitment are you making here? If it is just 10-15 weeks - no worries - just stop out and restart. If it is a whole year, that is a bigger deal IMO.

I think dealing with the time constraints in producing creative work is great practice. Congratulations on doing what you've done so far, by the way!

 

[Philippa]

Thanks Eleanor for your supportive words.

I have decided to take this module off, starting today.:happy:

I need to find some sort of way to make some money, and put up ads for my massage business, offering discounted massages to friends at school and on fb, that I have known for a while. They are people I can trust in my home...I'm pretty sure. Mainly women and the occasional man who has been respectful to me at every stage of knowing them.

I'm also keen to get moving printing t-shirts with a design I came up with, on etsy or redbubble or deviantart...or all three?

I was considering taking the rest of the course off and picking it up next year, but think I might just leave this module and pick it up later on at some point. It shouldn't be a problem.

I need to sort out my health issue right now...that is a priority. I had to turn down a job yesterday because I was feeling too crappy...and I really need the money right now.

Yes, I suppose the time constraints are a good step out of my comfort zone, and good practise for sure.