Not Sure Where To Post This....sex Aversion To Hypersexuality After Abuser Contact

[Imnobodywhoareyou]

Since my last trauma (a severe incident that I have a hard time talking about), I've had an aversion to sex and touch bc I have flashbacks and dissociate. well, on weds of last week, I got an unexpected phone call from a past abuser. now all of a sudden, I'm back in that hypersexual state I experienced as a teenager.It is almost compulsive. I still dissociate, have zero pmeasure sensation, and have flashbacks, which have been worse. my nightmares are worse too. I feel crazy! I don't know why I'm doing this! my husband is confused but not complaining. I'm confused. anyone else experience this?

 

[MisterCatLady]

Yeah I experience something similar. Flashbacks make me involuntarily turned on which makes me panic and dissociate. It's a vicious cycle. Recently it has helped me to breath, sit with the feelings mindfully, and try to focus on the arousal simply being a feeling that doesn't require a response. It's a lot harder than that but that's the best way I know how to explain it. Is that kind of what you're talking about?

 

[Imnobodywhoareyou]

Yes, kind of. however, this is the first time it has ever happened to me. thing is that I don't feel aroused, but I'm compulsively acting as though I am. As a teen, I was extremely promiscuous related to trauma...validating my worth in people wanting me but also trying to take control of sex in a "I'm going to do it on my term's bc if I don't, it's going to happen anyway" kind of way. it's like a switch has flipped, and I'm right back in that. I just don't get it....

 

[MisterCatLady]

I'm no expert but it makes sense to me that the phone call from your former abuser would send you back to old coping mechanisms. I don't know if that abuser was directly related to that chapter of your life but you could explore that. You're safe to explore it. It's over.

 

[Imnobodywhoareyou]

True....I guess in the moment, I didn't think about that. I tried to talk to my therapist about it, and i was too ashamed to do it. I have a second appt on Friday and am going to try to write it all down and talk to her about it....I know I need to explore it, but honestly, I'm terrified to.