Numbness for a Long Time - Anyone Relate?

[christodenisto]

Hello All,

I have been completely emotionally numb for over a year now. I have no sexual feelings, no love, sadness, anger, excitement or anything else.

Has anyone else had numbness for this long?

has anyone figured out a way out of it?

I am desperate to feel my emotions again, but none of the drugs I have tried have worked.

 

[nie]

I too was/am emotionally numb. I have found that the more that I work through things in therapy, the more I am able to allow myself to have emotions. For me, my emotional numbness was a safety measure. By not allowing emotions, I was also not allowing myself to experience the trauma. I am still numb sometimes. my psychiatrist told me that as I start to work through things, the numbness may start to subside. It has, which is good and bad. I am feeling some positive emotions for the first time in a very long time, but am now also feeling the pain and agony from the trauma. I don't know if any of this helps you, but I wish you success in your venture.

 

[nyc]

Hey- my ex has what you describe. To my knowledge it began 6 months ago when he started therapy for ptsd. But- i'm sure to some degree he has had the numbing for quite some time.

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

I was like that when I was on Prozac for 3 years. I had no feelings whatsoever. This girl deliberately kicked me in the head and it hurt real bad. I just looked at her and walked away. I didn't even care. I didn't want or have sex. I didn't go any where with fiends or have a social life. I ate, slept and worked.

When I was younger I would have kicked that girls ass bad. Those medications really can numb a person to where they don't deal with the root problem.

I went off of Prozac and didn't take anything for about 8 months and started Wellbutrin. It helps fend off the real bad feelings, but lets me have just enough pain to figure out what I need to work on.

Peace
Tammy

 

[Deleted member 93]

No drugs will pull you out. It is normal for PTSD if you have it. You can find a way out with a good therapist who knows how to incorporate drugs until you can grasp and work on what you learn in therapy and then drugs are removed and your techniques are used you have been taught. Takes a long time but it works. At times drugs will have to be used to control other symptoms for various reasons but not daily if you are lucky.

 

[Grama-Herc]

You talk about being numb! You speak of working your way through your traumas! But what about me? What am I suppose to do?? I have all your symptoms and nothing to work my way through. I remember nothing!!! I do not know what my trauma IS! All the therapists say to let it alone. They are afraid the trauma is to much for my fragile mind to handle and I agree but that puts another question into the senerio. How do I recover or do I just learn to live with result of what???? How do I begin to repair my life and ease the stress when I don't know what is broken so to speak? Anybody got a cute answer for this one? Do I sound angry? I am!! I am very angry at who or what hurt me so much that I can't remember any important part of my life. Things like graduating from high school, my wedding and the worst part is I don't recall giving birth to my daughter! And some one or something has stolen all this from me. Do I not have a right to be angry????????? Talk about being numb. Try my life on for size

 

[Deleted member 93]

You can work on your emotional stand point, herc with your doctors. For you. I also said if you are lucky. Or did you miss that part at the end of m post as we all know it is not a one size fit all. Go read baileys post in the Am I Lazy thread. It was very well put on how it is not all one way for all. I generalized and will continue to do so.

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Hercules I lost my memory after my car accident. There is a lot of time missing that I have no clue as to what I did unless some one tells me. I know it's not the cause of my trauma, but the fact I don't remember what I did for 3 months bothers me, especially when people tell me I was acting strange.

Maybe you can work on why your mad at your memory loss and eventually the trauma will reveal itself some way. A good thing to watch for is what is in your dreams. You may consciously have forgotten your trauma, but I just about gaurantee your subconscious mind hasn't. A lot of dreams come from our subconscious mind.

Over the past 15 years I had forgotten that the man who raped me bit my arm real bad. About two years ago I had a dream that reminded me that I was bitten. If I had not had that dream, I would not be mentioning being bitten as one of my injuries from my trauma. I completely forgot about it, but my subconscious mind didn't.

Peace
Tammy

 

[Grama-Herc]

Well, guess I owe the forum a very large "I'm sorry"! I just really read my last post in this thread and had no idea how really angry I was/am. Did not mean to take my rage out on people who are only trying to help eachother.

This forum has been here for me since Feb. and I am grateful every day for that fact. I would never want to upset anyone here for any reason. So hey guys, Please forgive HERC! I am still very angry but I will not take it out on you anymore, promise!!

 

[vst]

Hercules,

It is okay to be angry. Anger is a natural reaction when our life has been stolen from us. Sometimes we need to vent and let the rage out.

On to the subject of numbness...I was emotionally numb for at least 40 years. The numbness was not from drugs, but I abused drugs and alcohol to numb myself even more. Therapy allowed me to heal from my trauma and the emotional numbness has resolved itself.

I agree with Nie that having emotions allows the trauma to be felt. My flashbacks are more frequent now, but they are not as debilitating. Now emotions are dealt with as they happen and not stuffed in the box in my brain until I hit overload.

vst

 

[TheDeepestScar]

I've been numb to pretty much everything for 7 years now. That's when the abuse from my ex husband happened. Yes I was abused as a child but I was thankful to leave. But the abuse from my ex made things that much worse, almost 10 times as bad.

It's hard for me to feel anything, it breeds conflict in my intimate life. My husband has a hard time understand why I have no desire to do anything, why I'm not emotionally expressive.

Though part of that may be the amount of medication that my psychiatrist has me on. I don't think that's all of the reason.

so

 

[txmomof3]

I am fighting with this right now too. My psychologist says that I am using numbness and dissociation as a protective mechanism and that my mind will know when to start letting the walls down. Part of me is thankful...part of me is so frustrated.

How do we break through this numbness? Even if my meds are a factor, I have to stay on them. Once the anti-depressants are out of my system, I get suicidal very quickly.

One thing I am learning to do is look at the numbness as a positive coping mechanism in certain circumstances. I am working on feeling love, joy, excitement, etc. While I am learning this, I am using my ever-present numbness/dissociation to tell my psychologist my history. I have worked with her for 6 months now and the trust is starting to settle in. Hopefully, some of the walls will come down as more trust is built.