Ok, So It's Complex. I Now Know.

[RealityCheck]

Thanks to Anthony and Nicolette for passing on the name of a great therapist, my life is starting to make a little more sense now. In 45 minutes I gave a brief outline of major incidents... he listened and asked great questions which got me to see a few interesting things. Started with the repercussions of being betrayed by my mother - not being able to trust people, always watching around me, making sure I'm aware of everything that's going on... watching my back, unable to completely relax with people, struggling to maintain relationships, communicate my feelings.... and, am I able to be intimate with men?

If I've only known one particular way to exist - suffering - then that's where I feel comfortable... in stressful, chaotic, emotionally aggressive/violent/damaging relationships which although a little rocky at times, will at least be familiar.

Yep, there's some work to be done if I want anything different. At least I'm on the right track.

 

[kers]

I'm glad to hear you went to the session and were able to share so much. It was a brave thing, and a real gift to yourself to get the ball rolling.

 

[James B.]

Writing about this is such a healthy thing, wishing you much strength on your path...

 

[Jagged Angel]

I know it's not the best diagnosis in the world, but it's such a relief when you know you're not crazy. It's great to hear that you have found a therapist who can help. Travel well.