General One Problem Solved For Now

[amethist]

I have finally solved a problem that was causing me to have unecessery anxiety problems.
The problem was that i had to get my other half to see his therapist. He is fine when we arrive at the office it's the journey that was causing the problems, as like he himelf said he feels as if he is in cuckoo land until we get there then he's fine. I have suggested that we go by taxi but no he won't do that so we go by train which only takes 9 mins. That part is fine it's the 20 min walk that causes the problems, because it is through quite abusy part of town and it's like dragging a 5 year old by the hand who is not taking notice of whats going on around him and does not see the dangers, like traffic, other people,prams, padestrian crossings. He also has tunnel vision and any thing in his way he's going through it, over it or under the nearest bus cos he wont stop for nothing.

Yesterday i had had enough so i asked the therapist if there was any where closer to home he could be seen. His therapist wrang today and told me he had found another centre we can go to and he would see him there. That is such a relief knowing that it is now only a 15 -20 mins bus journey which he can do with me, the it only a 5 min walk to the centre, we have been there before so it should be ok for him.

If any other carers have problems ask if things can be changed to help. Im glad i did because i was begining to dread taking him every week and i did not want to stop him going .

One bit of success. He went to a different local shop today on his own to buy me a birhtday card and present. I wont tell him i know what he bought because he feels it was a big step to go on his own to a shop he hasnt been to for months and the look of achievment on his face was wonderful, ok so he forgot the wrapping paper but i had some left over so he was ok with that .

keep smiling and hang in there

Amethist

 

[Lucy Loo]

One bit of success. He went to a different local shop today on his own to buy me a birhtday card and present. I wont tell him i know what he bought because he feels it was a big step to go on his own to a shop he hasnt been to for months and the look of achievment on his face was wonderful, ok so he forgot the wrapping paper but i had some left over so he was ok with that .
Amethist

This made me smile. I could sense your pride (and his) at his accomplishment.

I'm glad the therapist was able to accomodate you all. I'm sure some therapists would not have gone to the trouble to find a solution for you.

 

[amethist]

Thanks Lucy Loo

I was even better today as he came to the local supermarket with me this morning, which has refused to do for ages and that was the best birthday present anyone could give me. Oh and i got it wrong saying i knew what he had bought me. it was similar but different

Thanks again

Amethist

 

[Nicolette]

Very happy for you both amethist.....:occasion: Encourage the baby steps, help where you can without taking over and try to encourage your other half to talk to you. If he says he can't go shopping accept it but always ask and in advance if possible eg...I am going shopping tomorrow morning if you would like to come. It gives them the chance to mentally prepare for going out.

Work out a vocabulary that works for you too. Early on when Anthony was having a bad day I would ask him if he was sick. PTSD sick or not well if I was not sure. Now we have established that he will either just tell me he is "sick" so I know not to push anything or I will ask him if he is if he is acting out of sorts. I then know, with the use of a simple word, where he is at and that helps both of us. When Anthony says he is sick I simply accept that he wont be coming shopping but 9 times out of 10 if I give him warning he comes along.

 

[amethist]

Thanks Nicolette

I think i must be one of the lucky ones, because we have always talked even before PTSD invaded our lives and we still do . So that part has not been too bad especially now he realises that i only do and say things to help him not destroy him like he once said i was doing, but he was 24-7 drinking at the time , i have just realised it will be a year at the end of April since he did a 10 day detox for that wow and he has only had 2 bad and 3 small relapses and the bad ones only lasted for a few hours.

We do have a code for when he is having a bad time we say he's got a wobble on.

If he is having a total shut down as i call it and he is beginning to loose sence of reality we use aroma therapy instead of the Diazapam that is hidden away were he can't find it because he hates how he feels after taking it and his therapist has said it is fine to find alternatives to strong drugs.

If it's ok with you and anyone wants to know which aroma therapy oils to use and what stengths to mix them i could do a thread for that. We also burn different incence sticks for different moods too so there is another one i could share.

Thanks again

Amethist