Sexual Assault One year on and I still can't get over my assault

[Bkbub]

I was sexually assaulted almost a year ago (it happened Friday 13th April, 2018, ironically). The legal term is "assault by penetration". We used to work together so I quit my job and got a new one somewhere else so I wouldn't have to see him. We have the same friends so I purposefully don't go to anything where I know he'll be. I've been to counselling, talked to my friends and family, read self-help websites etc. I've literally done everything I can think of to get through it but it's still controlling my life. Even in the last few days I've been seriously thinking about suicide. I know I don't want to die, I just want the pain to stop but nothing I've tried has worked and I just need it to end. Has anyone got any ideas or coping mechanisms? I'll try anything at this point.

 

[Friday]

Have you tried trauma therapy?

***

It’s probably important to note that a whole lot of different disorders and conditions can follow sexual assault, as well as none.

Ideally straight up sexual assault counseling will help direct people where they need to go afterwards, specialist wise, if one of those disorders develops. But it doesn’t always happen that a person is referred onto a specialist to diagnose & treat. Or that they’re even in sexual assault counseling to begin with.

A Trauma Therapist does not only deal with PTSD, but with the whole range of trauma related issues. So whether you have PTSD, or another series of issues that were kicked off or made worse by the assault, doesn’t really matter. They’re also a lot more highly trained than sexual assault counselor, and a lot rarer. (Every university, city, town, etc. is up to its eyeballs in counselors who deal with sexual assault. If you’re having trouble finding a trauma therapist, hitting them up for resources & referrals would be a good bet :)).

 

[EveHarrington]

I second trying trauma therapy.

:hug:

 

[ChildofGod]

I hope you can find help soon. Have you been to the RAINN website? You can get free help there anytime. I am truly sorry that you were hurt so much. Are there any support groups you could join?

 

[Bkbub]

I've applied to have trauma therapy on the NHS so hopefully that will help. I think all the feelings and problems have been magnified because a few months after the assault I had a miscarriage and 6 weeks later my grandma died after a 2 year battle with cancer so it was a rough 7 months. Thankyou for all the kind words and support x

 

[Lucycat]

You say you 'still' can't get over it as if you expect to. One year is not a long time in the scheme of things. You suffered a very traumatic incident and I think you have expectations of being able to just brush it off. I am glad that you have had therapy, but the fact that the incident has such a hold over you demonstrates that you need more help and therapy. That is not a failure, or a lack of effort . These things do take time.

Please reach out in real life and get the help YOU DESERVE from the experts who are trained to give it. Others have suggested trauma therapy and I would advocate that too.

 

[Ronin]

Seconding a year is not a really long time, for an assault alone...

But you suffered an assault, then a loss of a child, and then had a death in the family?
That is not one thing to be dealing with. That is three.
Of course you are not over it.

 

[Sanctuary]

To the original poster, what got me through in the beginning was the rape crisis line.
They will be busy but keep phoning and they will listen to how you're feeling.
They were a godsend to me.

As for suicide don't let the bastard win.
There are people around you in your life that need you.
My heart goes out to you.

The Samaritans are at the end of the phone if you need them.

In the beginning, I was too frightened to sleep without clothes and a light on.
I was too scared to shower without a swimming costume on.
I was too frightened to be alone in a room with a man without my WPC ( women police officer)
I was too scared to even show my feet in the presence of a man.
I was crazy, nuts in the head.
You will get through this.
Just reach out for the help that you need.
You are not alone.