Opinion On Being Ready For Therapy

[Manic11]

I have always believed that someone must be ready to get help in order for help to work. I don't believe that therapy will work if someone is being pushed into going to see someone.

However, where does that line belong?

If someone isn't ready to talk to a therapist yet or ready to get help but they so desperately need it (for example: because they are feeling extremely suicidal), what does one do? Should they go to therapy anyway and force out what needs to be said? Have someone say it for them? Should they go at all?
What's your opinion?

Manic

 

[Deleted member 541]

IMO, there lies the problem....The person that needs the therapy, and yet is reluctant to go, won't/can't until they are ready. If they are forced, it won't do any good at all, because people become defensive when forced to participate when they aren't ready.

I think it just depends on the individual, whether they will or won't go to therapy, and how much they will divulge. Encouraging the person is the best route to go, but in the end, it's up to the person to make that decision....

 

[gdf]

Would it be worth going to just "try out" or interview some therapists and explore a relationship with someone for the time when you are feeling ready? Might be worth a try to develop that bond prior to feeling desperate or hurting inside to the point you can't bear it which is a sad place to be.

Gina

 

[kris]

I know how that goes, I don't really want to go to therapy. I know I need to/should go because it will help in the long run, and so I am forcing myself to go and it's a very slow process, because to tell someone what happened to me is to admit to the world that it's real and happened. If I can keep my thoughts and everything else buried inside of me like I have done since the abuse started I feel all would be great. As I know this isn't the answer I am trying to get through this process, it is really hard for me to go when it feels like talking about my abuse is making things worse. My life wasn't great, but I was doing "ok" before I started to go to counseling, now I have been suicidal, having tons of panic attacks, and am a lot more depressed than I was before I went to therapy.

I unwillingly have a little help in the forcing myself to go to therapy thing, my primary doctor is kinda forcing me as well, in that if I don't go there are ways to make me get therapy.

 

[Fortress]

I was forced into therapy as a teenager, and the experience basically constituted another trauma. I don't believe you can force anyone to engage in the process in any kind of healthy or meaningful way. It really has the potential to do more harm than good, even when the person "helping" has the best of intentions.

I know this presents a problem if the person is a threat to his/her self or others. It's a tough judgment call.

As an adult, however, "forcing yourself" into therapy is a little different. I was VERY reluctant to go, and I don't think I would have made it if I was waiting until I looked forward to it or something. I see it as something that is unpleasant but necessary, and while it often feels like I'm making myself do something I don't want to do, the choice is ultimately mine. It's how I know I'm ready for this step.

 

[Pandoras3of9]

I always had faith in doctors. I went not having a clue what was going to happen. I just needed help and let the VA help me. They never pushed me into anything I didn't want to do.

 

[Grainne]

Well, my opinion on this is pretty simple. I've done the same thing. I didn't want to go to therapy, didn't want to talk about my past, didn't want to face things. I said, over and over to myself "If I go, it's not going to help me because I don't want to do it". One day I realized this. I don't like going to the dentist. I don't want to, it isn't any fun, and it's costs tons of money I don't have. I don't like having surgery. It hurts, it takes a long time to heal from and it interrupts everything in my life. BUT - if I need to have dental work done or a surgery that will keep me healthy and alive...I'm gonna do it. No matter what.

Therapy doesn't have to be something you 'want' to do. You just have to commit to it, to yourself and your own health. I agree...no person can or should force another into therapy, but I think that we can force ourselves (in fact, I usually have to force myself to go...even now, when I know how much it helps me).

If you decide to start therapy, I hope you find someone wonderful who can really help you through.

Best,
Grainne

 

[Manic11]

Thank you, everyone! That helps quite a bit!

Manic