General Other People Who Don't Understand PTSD

[Swan]

If you're lucky

My boy friend was around my dad's family this past spring for awhile. They really weren't rude but a few people made the statement that he didn't seem like someone I would be around. (These are people who haven't been around me for 15 years). At one point my dad made a comment about him not working. It was completely not like my dad to make a judgemental comment. I was stunned and hurt.

Just before the new year I spoke to Dad on the phone determined to resolve my feelings before the new year got here. After working my emotions through, I was able to calmly explain the situation to my dad. I let him know that it didn't seem like him to say something like that.

We talked awhile and he explained that he was worried about me and the girls. And he was concerned that my moving so far away with someone that was so sick they couldn't work steadily might put me in harms way. He said he didn't handle the situation in the most tactful way. That he understood my boy friends illness and wished him no harm or ill wishes. that he was just worried about his girls.

I understand my dad's concern now. And he understands why I was hurt and disappointed. The rest of the family is still clueless. And I'm not really worried about them. But if you're lucky enough, you might have someone you can calmly talk things out with like that.

I look at my kids. And how hard it got when everyone got sick. If I hadn't had family to fly the girls back east. It wasn't Rob's fault (my boy friend) But my dad was worried for a reason. We would have been homeless and hungry. Now dad knows we love each other and we're sticking together.

Dad will still worry. The rest of the family will always think somethings wrong. I figure that's the least of the worries. Glad dad and I could talk about it tho.

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

I don't care what people think anymore. When I used to care I worked 40 hours a week and took care of my kids until I had a nervous breakdown over it.

I was spending the majority of the money I made on therapy and medication. WTF? The longer I continued to work because society thinks I should, the more medications were added to my list.

Now because of those medications I have severe stomach problems and I'm sure my liver and kidney will be giving out within the next 10 years. Thanks society for telling me how to live my life.

One day these people are going to go through some kind of epiphany and realize their judgments were uncalled for.

I had a friend complain about an issue I had with my feet when I couldn't walk. It's called plantar fascitis. Well she ended up getting it about 5 years later and 10 times worse than I have it. She acknowledged that she jinxed herself by giving me a hard time over it.

So it will come back on them in the long run, it's just that we generally don't get to see the end result when they finally figure it out the hard way.

So society can kiss my arse, I'm not working to pay for medication to kill me.

Tammy

 

[Nicolette]

For Tammy.......... :Hug_emoticon:

 

[Lisa]

I don't care what people think anymore.

Wow. I'm so sorry that you have had such a hard time... and I know you've had to realise this the hard way... I feel similar to you, from different experiences. But same resulting philosophy. And you know what? GOOD FOR YOU! Some people go their whole lives being damaged by society and never standing up for themselves and standing strong within their own beliefs. Trying and trying and trying and just getting more and more and more put on them... a lesson I'm learning right now.

It is OUR lives. Nobody has to be you, or I, only ourselves can be ourselves. We have a right to live in this independent way as just that. TO be ourselves, in our own right. Free from others' and society's judgement, and damaging dictation at times. Only us can make the decisions about what's good for us, ultimately. About what makes us happy. And I think being free is HOW you live. I think I have been fighting for freedom for so long, as if there is an end result. But what I missed, so crucially, is it's not what you achieve, not the 'end' result of freedom fighting. It's how you live by yourself. It's knowing yourself, and wherever possible, being the one and only person who CAN stand up for yourself and give yourself what you need and deserve to make you happy.

Hm. Sorry for philosophical rant... but I feel a new independence about me. Because I forgot that independence just needs to be done, not asked for, demanded, or fought for. Only I can give it to myself, by simply being independent.

Your post just kind of brought that out for me. Thank you.

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Thanks for the hug Nicolette. Thanks for the encouragement Lisa. I did learn this the hard way and I'm paying for it by having to take Nexium for the stomach problem I got from taking so many drugs to get me to work every day. This medication alone costs $65 a month.

When I started working I only took 3 medications. By the time I had a nervous breakdown I was taking 6. Why? What was the point in taking more medication just so I can work. It seemed stupid to me especially now that I have acid reflux from all of the medication.

The cost of those medications were eating my pay check up, so I might as well be doing charity work. If I want to do charity work I would do a job that actually helps poor people, than working for the rich corporations who pay ditily squat.

I can rant for hours on this subject.
Anyway take care of yourselves and do what's right for *you*
Tammy