StellaBlue
Gold Member
This thread is old and my quote is taken out of context. The OP was expressing her fear of fainting. The example I gave (being hospitalized) was a huge fear for me and by looking at it from a different point of view, I was able to take some of the fear and shame out of it.
I can say, that several months after I posted this, I was hospitalized against my will and it was one of the most shaming and horrifying experiences I've ever had (I was actually picked up by the police at work, put in handcuffs, and taken to the facility). I did not have an advocate and I definitely imagined the bureaucratic "appointee" going home every night - not to share a laugh over dinner - but having dinner and not giving a sh*t. I refused medications and I've refused to pay them.
I suppose it was, in some ways, it was an exposure to one of my worst fears...and I survived it (actually in many ways, I've used it as a catalyst - although there is still a lot of anger and shame surrounding the whole experience). I have not turned into a zombie and, in all honestly, my own identity has become stronger. Neither I nor the world have come to a screeching halt.
I can say, that several months after I posted this, I was hospitalized against my will and it was one of the most shaming and horrifying experiences I've ever had (I was actually picked up by the police at work, put in handcuffs, and taken to the facility). I did not have an advocate and I definitely imagined the bureaucratic "appointee" going home every night - not to share a laugh over dinner - but having dinner and not giving a sh*t. I refused medications and I've refused to pay them.
I suppose it was, in some ways, it was an exposure to one of my worst fears...and I survived it (actually in many ways, I've used it as a catalyst - although there is still a lot of anger and shame surrounding the whole experience). I have not turned into a zombie and, in all honestly, my own identity has become stronger. Neither I nor the world have come to a screeching halt.
