Overwhelmed

[Rissy215]

I've been in therapy for over a year and my therapist says I'm making very fast progress but I'm moving so fast through past traumas that I'm not fully processing them and am completely overwhelmed. I feel like I need the counseling now more than ever but I can't go and focus on anything except trauma. My anxiety is out of control, I'm having panic attacks and seeing things in addition to more frequent flashbacks and nightmares. I feel like the harder I try in therapy the worse I feel. I don't know whether to take a break from therapy and try to let my brain catch up a little or if I should keep pressing on. I keep thinking I've hit rock bottom and start trying to climb back out but then find a new low. I'm afraid if I take a therapy break my symptoms will stay this bad until I start again. I'm also afraid if I take a break I wouldn't go back.

 

[rainy_daze]

I wish you all the best in getting some rest from the anxiety, it sounds like you're in a horrible place. You can take your time with the decision about continuing therapy or not, and try not to let that decision make you feel more afraid. Give yourself a bit time, if that makes sense. I personally don't find it easy to make decisions when I'm in the midst of overwhelming anxiety

Have you spoken to your therapist about this Rissy215? It would maybe be a good idea to have it written down and make it the first thing you talk about in your next session, and see what your T thinks about it. Also, do you have a psychiatrist you can speak to as well? I think it's important someone in the professional/medical field knows the extent of how anxious you are (including the seeing things that you mentioned).

 

[WillyKat]

Agree with rainy _daze, tell your therapist how you're feeling about it all.

 

[Seasounds]

A suggestion: very gentle, integrative, body work, (CranioSacral Therapy-CST) can slow everything down, if it is a possibility for you-if touch it ok. It helps the body and mind harmonize, it decreases anxiety, and it helps your body integrate (and catch up to) the emotional processing you've done. Of course, find a therapist with whom you relax.

If you are interested, search body psychotherapy on this site-for another opinion. You can have CST sessions while you go to therapy. To find a practitioner go to Upledger institute, search for a Craniosacral therapist (CST practitioner) in your area- make sure the person you pick has had 4 classes in CST.(You can see how much training practitioners have had, on the website.)

Gentle yoga, can also be helpful.
Healing thoughts your way.

 

[MissMacD]

I've been in trauma therapy almost a year I went in wanting to get it over with as fast as possible because I knew it was going to be tough. Healing is a long process and some things take longer to heal than others. It is okay to take your time. It is okay to be gentle with yourself. Your therapy is for you not your therapist.

 

[macca]

@Rissy215 That sounds so very hard. I don't know what to suggest, as I've only recently started my own therapy, but it sounds like you're not going at your own pace in this. Like the others have already said, I think you need to talk to your T and ask to slow it down a bit. Maybe if you could keep going, so as you don't feel like throwing it in, but instead of processing trauma for the time being, maybe working more on grounding and feeling safe.

 

[Jane.l]

I think Macca has an excellent suggestion there. I have stopped doing trauma work for a few weeks because I was becoming too unstable and over whelmed and today i had a great session just talking about emotions and small T stuff . First time I have stayed present for the whole session , the first time I could talk and be 'normal ' actually think it was really worthwhile .

 

[Rissy215]

Thanks, everyone. Sorry for the delayed reply, I haven't had a great week and just needed to space out for a few days and try to breathe. I talked to my T about taking a break from TF-CBT and somehow we decided to "ramp things up" instead and try to power through it with more frequent sessions so we'll see how it goes.

Last week I was in the hospital for asthma but ended up with a psych consult because of panic attacks and the mess that was my psych med regimen and they talked to my regular psychiatrist and when I saw him today we seemed to communicate so much better than we ever have and I think he's starting to understand the severity of my symptoms. He used to just push meds on me and I was out the door and it's really frustrating but we actually talked for a while today so hopefully we're on the right track now.

I don't think I could handle CST right now but I think it could benefit me in the future.

My psychiatrist also added a new diagnosis of 'cluster b personality disorder', essentially BPD, today and I know nothing about it. It was pretty upsetting at first because I already felt screwed up enough PTSD, MDD, GAD, and somatization, but the little I've read about it tonight actually sounds like me in a few ways so maybe being aware that it's also an issue won't necessarily be a bad thing and will let us address it. I'm supposed to start in a DBT group in January that I have really mixed feelings about but hopefully it will help with anxiety in general. I feel like it could be really good for me to observe in that I wouldn't feel as alone or 'crazy' (like finding this forum has helped me with) but I don't feel ready to participate which isn't really fair to the rest of the group.

Sigh, so much going on.

 

[WillyKat]

My two cents--and worth every penny--is to not get caught up in the diagnosis or the acronyms. There is a lot of overlap between disorders and ultimately, they are just codes on an insurance form.

Every person that has ever seen a mental health professional is unique and probably deserves their own acronym, but then we'd run out of letters. So we use codes.


What really matters is you.

 

[Rumors]

Amen Willy!

My acronym is DUMB... Don't Understand My Behavior... :)