P T S D Jokes

[Wagon]

On the last leg of our deployment the ship ran out of cigarrettes. 1400 men. No smokes. We were in Palma Mallorca but they did not tell us until we left. 13 days to Norfolk.

But hoho, the brilliant supply clerk digs up some cigarretes from way down below.............Old stale Salems. I can't even bare to look at a pack of Salems. Marlboros were selling for $20 a pack. Normal price $1.00

 

[Fargo1]

Bug juice. Comes out the same color and consistency as it went in with the added bonus of turning your feces red too. Good times the first time that happens!

 

[Wagon]

But it shines brass like a charm!!!! (y)

 

[Wagon]

In my opinion Red bugjuice is the only palatable one. The green and yellow was just nasty.

Petroleum based ice cream was wierd. Kind of like elastic mud.

 

[Fargo1]

Ah, brass-work. As a fellow QM you may find this sacrilegious, but I simply hated that busy work. I had way too much other work to do, so when my cutter was in the shipyard I lacquered all the brass on the bridge. It stayed nice and shiny until the CO had one of our JOs polish the brass one day and they finally noticed... D'oh!

Luckily our SS1 only served red bugjuice. He was truly the heart of our ship!

On the petroleum ice cream — when I hear someone saying that our low pay was compensated for with housing and food... Clearly they haven't ever slept in a rack or eaten the day-to-day food we were served. Don't get me wrong, there were some days that we got great food. Like the entire week after the CO let us go hunting feral cows on Chirikof Island — more steak that you could want to eat!

But the day in, day out powdered eggs, powdered potatoes, slimy veggies. Shit you wouldn't even feed your dog, much less your child.

 

[OldDoorGunner]

In Nam it was Roast Beef, Roast Beef,and more Roast Beef!!! The truth be told, it was Water Bufflo....LOL Being attached to 5th Special Forces (HQ) When I/we were not out flying a mission, we ate real good in the SF mess hall. Fridays was Lobster, Steak, Crab, lots of other sea food.....No one wanted to fly on Fridays.:love:

 

[Spock]

 

[Wagon]

We had a great day at sea on my first ship (one). Came up on a dead hump back whale in the West Atlantic. Our ship did not have weapons as such, but we had an arsenal of small arms. So we come up on this dead whale and it stinks to high heaven. When we get closer we notice about 30 or 40 sharks having a feast. The captain gets excited and calls for shooting practice. All manner of shit starts to come out of the gun locker. 20mm, 50 cal, M14's, M60's, shotguns.

The Captain, who looked like Elmer Fudd in Khakis ran down to his cabin and grabs his personal .45. No we got like 30 people on the bridge wing blasting away at this dead whale. Safety seems to have been chucked out the door and never mind the sharks or environment. (We were going to dump our nuclear waste the next day anyway so......) Then the Chief Gunnersmate comes up and whispers something into the Captains ear...who turns and nodds excitedly. Chief runs below like a kid at Christmas and brings back a grenade launcher. Boom, Boom. Chunks of whale meat start to splatter on the side of the ship. And stink....Wow. Finally the Captain thought it had gotten out of control and called it all off.

The big upside was. BBQ blue shark at our steal beach picnic. Nice! The down side was deck department had to scrape dead rotten whale off the side of the ship.

 

[Spock]

 

[Jimmy1]

You could change the top sign to whatever you like and add a hundred more.

 

[Spock]

 

[Sarg]

And do any of us really read all the fine print that comes with all those things?? Ah ha! Thought not. That's why Drugs.com was created.

Sarg