Panic And Quitting Therapy

[canucklady]

I paniced and got scared after tough session, cancelled both pscyhologist appt and psychiatrist appts. told them i quit therapy.

Now not so sure, but am afraid to call and let them know I changed my mind.

I cancelled because I lost 2 hours after session, not even sure how i drove home.

I am feeling very scared and lost at the moment, not sure why part of me even cancelled session, you would think this is when need it the most. But I just left voicemail and told them both I quit, can't do therapy right now.

Now I am panicking because I have no one else that understands. I guess tomorrow morning after I calm down, will call them back and tell them I didn't mean it. Sounds very childish though, hate when act this way.

 

[Tija]

Hi, Canucklady.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so scared today. Please don't beat yourself up for feeling childish, because then you can add me to the list, as well :rolleyes:. I often felt childish in therapy, and even while talking to my psych on the phone.

This is just a suggestion only, but I was wondering if it would help you to write down all your thoughts and feelings on a piece of paper, and just let it all flow out of you. A lot of times when I do this, I am really surprised by the greater clarity and stability I feel afterwards. Perhaps then, too, you could share and discuss those fears with your therapists. Hopefully you have good therapists, who will give you the support, encouragement and strength to continue therapy. I guess I am just thinking about all those times back then, when I thought of quitting too..

I really hope you don't quit therapy. I hope that things get better for you real soon!

Take care,:smile: Tija

 

[canucklady]

Thank you, having hard time calling them back and telling them I changed my mind. not even sure why I got so scared and cancelled appts. all remember thinking is cant do therapy anymore. now what do I tell them, ummmm changed my mind, sorry forget about last message. makes me sound so unstable

 

[cat]

Hi canucklady

Please don't worry about feeling childish with your therapists they will understand. If you can't face ringing them can you email them with you thoughts, as Tija says writing down what you're feeling is a great help, there have been times during my therapy that it has been the only I've been able to communicate with my T especially in the days after a therapy session.
Working through our traumas is scary & makes them worse before they get better but over time it will get easier & less frightening, try to be kind to yourself during this time with extra relaxation using the copying strategies your T will have taught you.

Take care & stay strong, accespt all the help & support you can & you will get through this.
Cat

 

[Tessa]

Hi Canucklady,

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. Please know you are not alone.I have cancelled sessions and quit several times. Sometimes,as others have suggested,I wrote down my thoughts and even drew pictures of how it felt in an effort to get them to understand.

Remember we are all human (even therapists) and sometimes we don't understand each other or someone is having a bad day.

Right now you are scared and upset.Try to be gentle with yourself and soothe yourself.

Hugs
Tessa

 

[anni]

I think maybe you'll feel at least a little comforted if you have the energy to browse the old threads and see how often some of us have been stressed enough to disassociate and not at all remember a drive somewhere. Maybe it's not what the rest of the world would call 'normal' but it happens, so please don't feel like you're 'losing it'. There are reasons it happens, and tools for getting it under control when you have the energy to address it. Please don't be so hard on yourself. :)

Therapists never think the worse of us for sometimes hauling off and just becoming scared. They do know it for what it is, and also absolutely know it's really, really hard for us to call back and rescedule! Since you left a voice message to quit, perhaps you could leave a message to please have them call you to help rescedule? I know mine would instantly 'read' the situation when I'd be in your situation ( and I was, more than once, truly! ) and would 'meet me halfway' by calling to rescedule. Email is also a wonderful idea.

My T said that I had been able to get as far as making contact, so he'd then contact back, so it was validating I'd even gotten that far. They know what we need, really they do.

Tessa left a hug, and that sounded like something you might need today. Hugs and do take care!

Anni

 

[canucklady]

Thank you all for responding. I did call them both back and told them to ignore previous message. They haven't called back yet, so not sure what is going to happen next.

 

[kers]

I think they will be understanding. I'm glad you called back. It is scary to do all this, so it's only natural that at times we want to retreat and avoid facing it.

 

[Jestadud]

Hi:hello:, just wanted to send you a hug:Hug_emoticon: as I can so empathise with how you are feeling.
I'm sure that just about everyone here will have said or done something during therapy which makes them feel stupid or childish.:doh:

Well done for getting back to them so soon and like kers I'm sure they'll be perfectly reasonable about it.:think:

As for not remembering the drive home, my T always warned me that I might need to give myself a bit of time before driving so what I used to do especially if I felt shakey or upset, rather than sit in my car in their car park where I would feel overlooked by all the windows in the place, I would drive to another car park nearby to compose and settle myself before driving back to work or home if I felt too bad.

Spring is here, Summer is coming, good times are just around the corner!:thumbs-up

 

[canucklady]

I was triggered before got to session, but tried to keep things under control. Then finally told T what was bothering me, and then that caused flashbacks and couldn't get grounded.
K, my ex had his sister contact me because he Iwants to make amends. My ex abused me in every way you can think of. Even hearing his name scares me.
But am thinking maybe thsi will help my recovery. Been struggling with PTSD for so long, maybe this is closure that is needed.Anyone meet their abusers and did it turn out well?

 

[Tinyflame]

I think I feel 'healthier' not having to, in the way I can't 'rewrite' the ending and all I can control is what I think about it/ forgiveness/ understanding it in some way myself, etc.
I find the strange thing is there is frequently too much of a gnawing feeling that I have to set it (the present or past) right, which is impossible. Everyone makes their own choices.

Everyone has to be true to themselves- follow your heart and do what feels most right for you.

For me, I know people don't usually change. They can, but it may be a lifelong process, I would just remember he *may* still feel justified/ that he is the 'victim'. I don't say that to cause you pain or make you angry, it just helped/ helps me (only) personally to remember I may have loved and trusted someone who was (is) not trustworthy, or hasn't 'healed' themself, yet.

I think a good way of 'healing' is beginning to write a new chapter, no matter what you decide.
-Best wishes to you.

 

[Tinyflame]

Oh ya- sorry- meant to say, no, it didn't really turn out very good/ messed up my mind.
-What felt/ feels better (for me) is feeling no 'obligation', and/ or no longer being afraid (or self-blaming).

-Hugs to you, if that's ok.