It says on that website that:
"In contrast, paranoia manifests through persistent, irrational beliefs that someone or something is actively working against you. This belief can lead to mistrust and suspicion, even in safe environments."
What if in the part, someone was actively working against you? For example, gaslighting you and putting psychological blocks in the way of you taking any step in any direction? So much so that you are always wrong, and to blame, whatever you do or don't do. I don't tryst him and I suspect he will hurt me again and continue to do so.
And, when you trusted professional and they ket you down with an admin error that made it possible for the gaslighting to have an effect. So the only thing is not to trust them because it had such a profound impact on your life for years and years.
I feel picked on and scapegoated.