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Part Of A Group That Just Isn't Working

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So... I couldn't eat or sleep last night. My wife was mad because she was hungry for dinner last night, but I was battling the butterflies so I didn't want to go out anywhere. I ended up going to bed just after midnight (I couldn't unwind) and I was up at 0530 pacing the floors.

I left for the ranch at around 0930 this morning it took me an hour and a half to drive out there. When I got there we bathed the horses and then loaded them up. It was another 45 minute drive out to the polo field.

We were escorted on to the field by the Sheriff's department (those guys looked amazing on their horses). I'm proud to say NAILED IT!!! we looked amazing today and we did it in front of a couple thousand people. We received a standing round of applause after our drill. I'm feeling pretty accomplished. Thank you everyone for the positive thoughts directed my way.
 
Hi there @Florian7051 - sorry I am so late to this thread.

We have 5 horses. My vet...

I am still working with the horses weekly; I haven't updated this thread in a while because I kind of fell in a hole, but I'm starting my climb out, so here's what's been going on. For those that don't know (and care to) I am a recovering alcoholic; I had a relapse recently which felt like a major set back in my recovery. It was actually a day at equine therapy (a day I decided to finally go) that started to turn things around for me. I had gotten sober, but was in the stage of self pity when I decided (thanks to some encouraging words in this forum) that I really needed to get off my ass and go to therapy.

I have been working with a new horse up there, her name is Coffee. We have been focusing a lot on drill and my BFF Dunny is too spooked by the drill flags for it to be a good match, so I had to pick a different horse. In my last post I talked about Coffee, and how nervous I was to ride her, because she just didn't feel the same as my Dunny Boy. I think I have gotten past that. Don't get me wrong there will always be a very special place in my heart for Dunny, I just can't do drill with him.

How to describe Coffee. Well she is a very spirited animal, a bit stubborn, and a bit of a diva. She's a bit of a trash talker to the other horses (especially to her brother Cannon). I think she's just beautiful and she knows it, and likes to flaunt it. She is very slow to respond to commands and I am a gentle person, so we have to work on that. I finally put on my first pair of spurs which curbed her attitude majorly, she became a lot more attentive (which tells me I need to become much more authoritative with her). However I do think she's a good match for me because she challenges me to find that person I lost so long ago, that cool, calm, collected, confident, arrogant, cocky, headstrong, man who is now shy, timid, withdrawn, and isolated. There are some days I can feel her bringing that other side of me out... then there are other days I want to have a meltdown while I'm riding her (it's a process).

Anyways, back to the relapse. So the day after I went up there and decided to ride and at first everything felt wrong like I wanted to have the meltdown I spoke about. But I can think of no better metaphor fitting for the story of the Phoenix rising from the ashes than that day. By the end of the day I was in a completely different place. Just like that, the horses took that mentality of self pity, and changed my mindset back to recovery; I was determined and motivated once again. I can't speak highly enough for what these animals have done for me. I will try to post some more pictures...
 
Here is a picture from the last drill we did. I had to crop out all the other horses, because I'm not sure about privacy and stuff like that, and how anyone else would feel about being posted up on this website, so just to be on the safe side all you get is me lol. The next drill we are doing is going to be to show off to some potential partners of the ranch. It is kind of a big deal because it costs a small fortune to run the ranch and all the work done for the vets is non-profit, so any potential business partners are people looking to take on some of the costs to help out the cause; they want to see that the therapy is really working, so we want to knock this drill out of the park.
PIC1.webp
 
@Florian7051 , how wonderful that you are back with us, sharing, and letting your 'teachers' teach you.. I love the way you understand them, loved your description of Coffee. You know horses and they know you. And very happy to hear that getting back to sobriety has happened for you!! You amaze me the relationship you have with the horses, like some of us do with our own pets.
Very proud of you and thank you for the update. We do care and was wondering if you were ok... happy to see that you are... wishing you well with the Diva Coffee and all you have to look forward to...Welcome back hugs if you accept !!
 
Just do what is good for you, it will be twice the surprise to hear from you... one day at a time is my motto too.. been sober for awhile myself.. it does help with recovery from PTSD to be sober. prayers and hugs.
 
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