Something I have encountered over the last week is people making fun of PTSD. During a training...
Nope, not isolated. The people I work with know my condition and trigger me on purpose all the time. They are complete strangers that harass, lie, and make fun of me. If I dare to ignore them they threaten to tell my boss.
I learned today how the mind of the predator works that gave me PTSD, horrifically scary how a total stranger that stalks someone thinks that he really is talking to the victim, that the victim has something to do with him. I learned that today and it totally freaked me out.
So many triggers today, many of them rooted in trauma from stalking, workplace abuse.
For a while today I was floating, felt like my feet were not touching the floor. That felt great, like traveling through galaxies. I am slowly awakening from a coma which I have been in for the past six years and it is so amazing because that is what I understand now. I am slowly awakening from this coma, surreal. My brain is making sense of what happened before I fell into that coma. So weird, it was a totally amazing experience, how to slowly transitio n from a coma into a fully awakened state, to be able to experience true healing, to notice that the brain is more open, to understand the wonderful implications of true caring. It is like wow.
And then more huge anxiety attacks along with major trigger experiences. PTSD is so exhausting.
