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Please can someone say something kind to me?

Thread starter #14
Thank you so much @Sideways @Tornadic Thoughts @Ronin @Tinyflame @barefoot @LuckiLee @Wonder Woman @ladee @Wendell_R ❤️ So grateful

I really needed to hear some kind words and thank you all for em, I shall bookmark this page for when I need it again :)

Not like me to be able to ask for what I need so that’s got to be a win hey. Felt shy to come back and reply tho!

Just to say it's suicidal ideation not plans. And I’ve been off Mirtazapine 5 weeks already. I don’t think this is me being messed by meds so much as it is me returning to how I was before them.

I was only on Mirtazapine for 4 months and it was very effective at stopping suicidal ideation and the almost daily sobfest. But the side effects made functioning impossible. Now it’s wearing off I’m returning to how I was before it.

have been on Quetiapine for 7weeks on a low dose And have been told I can up it if needed so I’ll think about that.

The main themes behind the suicidal ideation are not being able to tolerate this amount of isolation, and conversely not being able to tolerate much interaction with others. Also the abuse.

Reread this by Pete Walker on Emotional Flashbacks. Such a help. I know plenty here don’t rate him at all but he describes exactly my experience.

I’m wondering about becoming a cat lady ;)

Am calmer than yesterday, a bit numb, numb is good enough sometimes though :)

Thanks again!
 
#15
Thank you so much @Sideways @Tornadic Thoughts @Ronin @Tinyflame @barefoot @LuckiLee @Wonder Woman @ladee @Wendell_R ❤️ So grateful

I really needed to hear some kind words and thank you all for em, I shall bookmark this page for when I need it again :)

Not like me to be able to ask for what I need so that’s got to be a win hey. Felt shy to come back and reply tho!

Just to say it's suicidal ideation not plans. And I’ve been off Mirtazapine 5 weeks already. I don’t think this is me being messed by meds so much as it is me returning to how I was before them.

I was only on Mirtazapine for 4 months and it was very effective at stopping suicidal ideation and the almost daily sobfest. But the side effects made functioning impossible. Now it’s wearing off I’m returning to how I was before it.

have been on Quetiapine for 7weeks on a low dose And have been told I can up it if needed so I’ll think about that.

The main themes behind the suicidal ideation are not being able to tolerate this amount of isolation, and conversely not being able to tolerate much interaction with others. Also the abuse.

Reread this by Pete Walker on Emotional Flashbacks. Such a help. I know plenty here don’t rate him at all but he describes exactly my experience.

I’m wondering about becoming a cat lady ;)

Am calmer than yesterday, a bit numb, numb is good enough sometimes though :)

Thanks again!
You're welcome. I'm glad you were able to reach-out for help, and talk about your feelings so openly. ☺

It sounds like you're keeping in touch with your doctor about these feelings reemerging. That's a good way to help prevent things from getting unmanageable.

I didn't realize how bad the Mirtazapine side-effects were, until after I was off of it. It made me a zombie. I couldn't be creative. And everything was "blah." So, I understand how you might want to discontinue if you had similar or other disruptive side-effects.

Still, with this forced isolation situation, I'd hate to see you struggle with thoughts of dying.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and conclude that the abuse is the reason you tend to have difficulties tolerating interactions with others. Instead of "also the abuse." I'm only pointing that out, because I don't think it's healthy to minimize the impact the abuse has on us.

Cats are great! I use to be a cat lady, until I developed a severe allergy to them. I highly recommended becoming a cat lady. 🐈

Calmer is good. Sometimes small periods of numb can give us a respite, too.

I hope these feelings begin to diminish and even-out, soon.

Sending you warm thoughts and safe hugs. 💗
 
#18
I hope you are feeling better T. You are and have been a kind and thoughtful friend and supporter to me. Even though you were going through your own struggles you supported me and many others in this tribe of ours...this pack. I value you for your thoughtfulness, kindness...you inspire because you keep going, you push through...you keep going knowing this will soon pass. This moment will blow away like smoke...you can get through this...we have your back...just like you have had ours. Thank you for being my friend...
 
#20
I don't know you at all, but you are a member of the human family and as such you are remarkable. You have most likely chosen a path by which you have given and rarely taken. You are therefore a true human being.

Consider every moment of pain a further sign that you were strong when they were weak. And so don't let that pain overwhelm you, try to sit with it, talk with it, dance with it, and never ever die with it.
 
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