Poll Poll For Uniformed Personel

[angel2write]

OK, this is going to look like a really weird question. But there's a reason for it.

Several of the men in my life who hurt or abused me were ex-military or military. They would taunt and tease me, saying how "weak and useless" I was. We live in a town with a big base, and every time I'm in a store or in line with someone in uniform (including women in uniform and police), I cringe and start coming unglued.

So this question is part of my attempt to undo this trigger. I want to stop thinking that all uniformed people I meet are looking at me and thinking that I am weak and useless and worthless. I would really appreciate it if you would take a second and respond.

 

[sea]

The answers make no sense to me. Are they all negative? "Contributing to society in her own way" sounded the nicest out of all of them. My honest opinion in the past or present would be that it was just a nice woman in line who had a kid, and I was glad she was nice to me. I mean I think that of any stranger. I don't love and appreciate every stranger, but if you were nice to me in line I would appreciate that. Um, I voted and then realized the negative connotation of the one I picked. That was a palm face. Please ignore that. (Unless it was actually positive but come on "In her own way" sounds condescending, which I didn't clue in to until after I voted).

But nothing negative, no. I mean why would anybody think that if they were normal people? I would just think hey, it is a nice lady. If you were an idiot to me I might think you were an idiot but that is about it. Normal people don't put that much effort into thinking about strangers. Believe me, that is something I have had to learn the hard way for years of being hypervigilant about what strangers thought of me. Most strangers honestly do not put any thought into you whatsoever, positive OR negative. If you are nice to them, chances are it will be positive. That's no matter who it is really unless they are assholes themselves.

(Obviously I don't walk around in uniform anymore, ain't that crazy, I figured most people who answer this will be ex- considering they would have PTSD. Figure I'd throw an answer just to add to the tally, and I would have just voted silently but then I realized I should explain my vote because I voted for a shitty one and felt bad about that since it was the only vote :unsure:)

Anyway regardless I assume you mean they think you are weak and shitty because they served in the military and you didn't? That is such a f*cked up style of thinking considering most people serve in the military so that people don't have to. I'm sorry you were around such assholes most of the time but honestly, they were the disgraces, not you. They disgraced what they should have stood for and they disgraced you. And that shit is pretty f*cking awful.

 

[AngelaMarie]

I would think how strong she is to be in line with her children. Big job to do errands with children!

(((angel2write))) Sorry you were made to feel that way. Just believe that not everyone feels the same as that. My son is in the U.S. Navy and he is very respectful to women.

Good luck in trying to overcome the feeling!:)

 

[angel2write]

Um, I voted and then realized the negative connotation of the one I picked. That was a palm face. Please ignore that. (Unless it was actually positive but come on "In her own way" sounds condescending, which I didn't clue in to until after I voted).

Yeah- I know. But it was, honest to God, the most positive thing I could think up. And even putting that made me really shaky.

Most strangers honestly do not put any thought into you whatsoever, positive OR negative.

I also know that this is true, at least intellectually. My mind knows it. But my emotions aren't that easy to control. I honestly get anywhere near someone in uniform and become paranoidly convinced they despise me and are thinking horrible things about me. Even though they are probably thinking about lunch. Or their dog. Or whatever.

Which is why I wrote this poll. Thanks for your feed back.

 

[Rydia]

If -I- saw a nice lady at a post office with kids?
Well if she were nice to me, I would feel happy and feel drawn to this person. I might want to have a conversation with her, if I can think of something to talk about. I'd also maybe want to play with her kids, if they like being social with grownups.

If she's simply a lady who seems like a nice person, I would very likely think to myself that she's a nice lady <3

I hope that helps.

 

[goingonhope]

OK, this is going to look like a really weird question. But there's a reason for it.

Well done angel2write for creating this poll. I think doing so is a great idea; I'm not military, but I do know what's it's like to have been routinely emot., psychol., even spiritually ripped-off, put down, mind-fck'd, laughed at and intimidated such by a group of people that were like-minded. The people I got exposed to were not uniformed military personel, and may or may not have ever been military, ...and yet so many were like-minded and teamed up together, just as any group of ignorant A' holes will do.

Even though the people that you speak of are employed within the military, they do no well represent all military personel in uniform, rather they were representing there own personal assholism.

But, I know what if feels like to be triggered, to question, to internalize that shame, to repeatedly doubt myself, and to generalize and remember them as ...'All' ....cruel and unreasonable and to really come to believe such were true about 'All' of them, ...and due to me - filtering out, while not identifying and/or remembering those good, kind people, which by the way, were also exposed to such unhealthy ego's, self & other-deception and all-around contagious B'shit.

I agree with what sea said here:

I'm sorry you were around such assholes most of the time but honestly, they were the disgraces, not you. They disgraced what they should have stood for and they disgraced you. And that shit is pretty f**king awful.

I am so sorry angel2write you were exposed to the pain, shame and deception that you were exposed to and that this has affected and deeply hurt you!

In a way, .....though not the identical scenario, .....I can understand; I hope this makes sense to you, is somewhat helpful and alright to comment here.

I didn't vote of course, and hoping you get lots of 'U military personel' votes and feedback.

(((Hugs))) and take care.

Angel2write, ...........Their shame, NOT YOURS!

 

[Ruth09]

Not all uniformed personnel are men. just saying.

 

[sea]

Where in this thread has anybody implied that women aren't in uniformed services? In Angel's first post she says, and I quote, "We live in a town with a big base, and every time I'm in a store or in line with someone in uniform (including women in uniform and police)". She is talking about the origin of her trigger when she refers to men, not implying anything other than that women can serve as well, and even admits that women trigger her as well. In fact only one male has even posted on this thread, me, the rest of the input has come from women.

 

[Kintsugi]

I would think that she was a nice lady and loving, attentive mother to have brought her children along.

 

[BloomInWinter]

I would think that she was a nice lady and loving, attentive mother to have brought her children along.

...and "wow, she's really organized and confident!" because kids are a handful on errands...

 

[Ruth09]

Based on how this thread is going, you don't want my truthful answer.

 

[MurphyJB]

I think you just told her your answer.